Crypto Faucet I use to store my mined bitcoin on, with 4.08% APR paid daily with accounts over 30k satoshi. Referral link included, I share 50% commissions with my referrals paid every Sunday if you're interested.

My referral link for the aforementioned FREEBITCO.IN:
I have cross referenced this post on my site:
Why should you sign on with me? I'm not a one off, you can reach me personally through DM or post comments. I've done most of the leg work, alleviating the trial and error process. Just follow the steps in this guide specifically in sections 7️⃣, 8️⃣, and 9️⃣.
I share 50% commissions, get a kick back on everything you earn weekly.
I trust this site, and personally have 270$ worth of bitcoin in one account with almost 500$ total including two other accounts.
Coming from Cointiply? Well, as a heads up, you're not actually holding any BTC. I suggest what you earn you HODL in FREEBITCO.IN.
Just some abbreviation and terminology explanation before we start for those unfamiliar.
USD=US Dollar
Click here Bitcoin price history, past and present
FREEBITCO.IN can be accessed from any device with internet.
Using a VPN or a TOR is now allowed given that your account achieves certain criteria similar to a captcha free account requirements.
🛑WARNING: FREEBITCO.IN wipes inactive accounts after a certain period! If you lose interest, withdraw your BTC!
📝NOTE: iOS devices (iPad, iPhone) are restrictive. The only way to access is via website, as BitBot isn't available.📝
FREEBITCO.IN is what's called a "faucet", a site that gives a small steady stream of crypto which FREEBITCO.IN does through hourly rolls and interest accrual.
FREEBITCO.IN also hosts other means to win or earn crypto, you can gamble with Multiplier, or bet on world evens and crypto prices.
After your account reaches 30k Satoshi, you begin to collect interest. The site also offers lifetime referral commissions, explained later in this guide.
All you need to start is an email. You can add more verification options for security later on. I would highly suggest it. Use a junk email though.
2FA and MFA are strongly suggested. A password should be 15 characters long. I suggest Google Authenticator for your 2FA needs.
I know you can definitely access this site from Brave Browser with add blockers enabled. I'm sure it will work with others. Even without an ad blockers, they only advertise their site gambling and games, no 3rd party adds that I've seen. It's not too invasive or spammy either.
This post is both an advertising platform I use, and a guide I've made to help those interested to automate and optimize earnings.
For those of a cautious mindset, I've uploaded all of FREEBITCO.IN's information on interest accrual, security, and proof of mining on Imgur, in case you're worried about visiting the site.
Transparent link here: Interest accrual structure and FREEBITCO.IN security.
My referral link:
So at this point, with hourly claims and daily interest, I'm bringing in roughly 8978 Satoshi (or .70$ USD with BTC at 7804$ USD) daily at full optimization on one account, and two other self referred accounts without lifting a finger. This is before the fact that a hourly roll (claim) can reward up to a max of 200$ USD worth of BTC (percentages in section 5️⃣).
They also have a weekly lotto (tickets awarded with every roll and referral roll) with the last 1st place winner receiving .32769156 BTC (2587$ USD at current bitcoin price).
This is also not including my current commissions on accounts not owned by me. In this post I will describe some of my strategies I've incorporated, and some insight into how this website works.
To offload or withdraw bitcoin, you're going to need what is called a "wallet". I personally use Coinbase (available on mobile or desktop) as you can sell it through here as well and easily move money to Paypal or a bank.
If you are already on FREEBITCO.IN, do you have someone who referred you? Do they share commissions? If not, why not make a new account and join me, where you'll get a return on everything you earn.
As you can see, large affiliate groups don't share anything, hoarding hundreds of thousands worth of BTC earned off their referrals
I share 50% of my commissions. I get 50% of your roll rewards, 25% of your interest, and 0.4% of your wagers. All of this is paid out by FREEBITCO.IN as a commission, so it's not pulled from your rewards or held BTC.
So the more you're active, the more you'll receive from me weekly (being active is doing anything that I get commissions from). IMPORTANT: Your (and all referrals) shares are based on activity, so if you are inactive for the week, you get a lower % for that week. If you're the most active of my referrals you get a higher percentage of what I share. This is to incentivize being active and to stop people from getting a cut without doing anything.
If you have FREEBITCO.IN automated, you don't have to worry about this. However, having a larger bankroll to earn interest, or playing Multiply BTC (I do not suggest playing unless doing so to meet auto roll requirements) will increase can your activity further.
Commission Structure
Here is some proof, I've actually shared about 2/3 of all commissions
Commissions update 12 January 2020
Here is a proof of Payment section per individual
📝NOTE: I've noticed when I was creating the images of commission sharing that the "RECENT" blocks are showing zero. If you look at totals from the first image, you can tell I'm actively sharing with all of my referrals.📝
Join my team FREEBITCO.IN
You can earn AT LEAST .00000552 BTC (.048$) daily when automated (or claiming every hour on the hour) before bonuses (like using reward points to increase rewards 1000%). After some testing, it seems that this amount will always be about .048$ worth of BTC, base claim rewards no bonus active.
After .00030000 BTC, you accrue compounding interest at a rate of 4.08% APR, paid daily. As soon as your daily interest is accredited, it too starts earning interest. The daily interest rate comes out to ~0.011% of your total held BTC.
FREEBITCO.IN gives you a roll once every hour, free
📝NOTE: Roll rewards fluctuate inversely with BTC price. BTC goes down, roll rewards go up, vice versa. The BTC rewards USD value will be extremely close to the values represented below.📝
Current rewards and probability with every hourly roll.
(.002$) -> 98.85%
(.02$) -> 1.00%
(.20$) -> .08%
(2.00$) -> .04%
(20$) -> .02%
(200$) -> .01%
UPDATE: I decided to do some research after some odd outcomes when extensively testing some of my Multiplier strats. Turns out FREEBITCO.IN does indeed have a house advantage that isn't too transparent. Longer sessions are almost always going to come out negative. If you still plan on playing, do short sessions, once daily max, with lower amounts.
There are a couple methods to play the Multiplier with a reduced risk (but still a risk) here as well. I would suggest small play sessions.
My preferred settings for AUTOROLL on MULTIPLY that I've had the best success rate with to date. (preferably with .00005000 in ACCT for best results)
BET: Minimum
ROLLS: (doesn't matter, 100)
BET ON: alternate
STOP BETTING PROFIT: .00000050, important as the bets will get exponentially higher with every loss. Win in small increments.
STOP BETTING LOSS: Set a loss limit if you want, I have mine set to .00001 and haven't reached it
ON WIN: select increase bet 0%
ON LOSS: select increase bet 65%
Here is a pic of the settings
Anything else doesn't matter. Make sure the boxes are checked for the above options.
With this strat, I've won positive on one account, about .000077 BTC, and I've only played 5 or 6 times, at less than 2-3 minutes of play time a session.
Good for accounts with a low balance. I've had a surprising amount of luck with this method, enough so that I thought I'd post it here with an update. This could work well for accounts with less than 1k Satoshi, as a losing streak wouldn't be a huge loss. For this strat, you should have at least 189 Satoshi in your account.
BET: Minimum amount
ODDS/WIN CHANCE: 189 or %0.5
ROLLS: 189 (remains the same no matter if you bet more)
BET ON: High or Low, but not Alternate.
STOP BETTING ON PROFIT: Minimum amount, once again, you want continuous small wins
UPDATE: Conducting more tests for viability
I played these settings 10 times, I came out positive 8/10 times. In the end I was positive 433 Satoshi total with selecting "hi".
On selecting "low" I went positive 5/10 losing 525 Satoshi.
On selecting "hi" and betting 10 Satoshi, I went positive 3/10 times losing 9708 Satoshi.
On selecting "high" and betting 100 Satoshi, I never went positive, 0/10. Losing 189000 Satoshi (~15$ USD).
There does seem to be a pattern of losing more when betting more. Like anything gambling, there's probably a house advantage that's not too transparent.
Win small lose small.
Pic of these settings
Another strategy I've tried is betting most of my balance once occasionally with a 94.06% chance of winning. This is, eh, alright to risk OCCASIONALLY, but a loss would set you back more than you ever made using this strategy, which happened to me, I lost about 40 USD worth of BTC after making maybe 5 USD.
Playing this in auto roll, out of 20 rolls I'd always lose at least once, putting me into the negative. Even with 10 rolls, I'd more often then not lose at least once.
Pic of these settings
There are other strats out there, such as the "Martingale", which is essentially doubling the bet amount every loss, then resetting your bet to minimum after a win to in theory "win back what you lost". At 47.5% odds of winning, I've had loss streaks that would drain my account.
My summary for Multiply, use sparingly. Don't use it as your primary means of earning. Use once or twice daily, limit play sessions to 5 minutes max.
📝NOTE: FREEBITCO.IN captcha requirements seem to be tiered, with requirements for Captcha free upscaling when you BTC holding passes a certain threshold.
I'm currently testing, as is another team member (Shout out to u/SrExtreme69) , what exactly these thresholds, if holding at these thresholds increases the length of Captcha free rolls, and at what amount does FREEBITCO.IN no longer require these to be met.📝
📝NOTE: To start automating, remember to verify email and setup 2FA or the Captcha will still appear even if your account meets Captcha free requirements. Check the site occasionally as Captcha free roll requirements can change. After certain held BTC amount you don't need to renew your requirements. I haven't had to achieve new requirements in over a month.📝
📝NOTE: You may need to manually roll for a bit until the the ability to achieve a Captcha free account becomes available. It doesn't show at first.📝
📝NOTE: It's very difficult, if not impossible to automate on iOS devices.
First of all, getting to this point can be a grind, but once achieved you'll have a steady flow of BTC with options to increase earnings through rewards claims using RP. I would suggest going to your PROFILE tab on FREEBITCO.IN and disabling lottery to increase RP production when starting out. Using other apps or resources to supplement income is a good idea as well.
On the FREE BTC page, there is a blue text hyperlink with requirements that need to be met to make your account captcha free, thus allowing you to enable autoroll on extensions or apps. It has multiple ways to achieve this and they can change, so if your autoroll has stopped, check to see if these requirements have changed.
Here are the requirements. (Amounts vary)
It seems only two of these requirements need to be met.
The less risky and easiest method is to buy lottery tickets and bet with jackpots on. Even better is depositing bitcoin if you have that amount.
The POSSIBLY least expensive method is to bet both regularly and with Jackpots enabled on MULTIPLY (for higher amounts required, IMO Multiplier strat #3 works best)
For computers
I would suggest using Firefox, as you can add functions and tools to your bar up top. One of the being a "auto roll" for FREEBITCO.IN, still requires a "captcha free" account. Turn it on and let go, check it occasionally to make sure its still going.
Autoroll firefox add-on link
My link again for ease of access
Not my preferred method, but good for a second account, as using a computer means devoting more attention to FREEBITCO.IN in an inconvenient manner if you are just starting out. After Captcha has been removed, this becomes more hands free, but not as profitable as using bitbot, as you can't autoclaim RP rewards.
I haven't tried many methods besides using Firefox addons, as I'm wary of sources or intent when it comes to 3rd party scripts or programs. If I find any trustworthy scripts or programs, I will update here.
For Mobile
📝NOTE: iOS devices (iPhone, iPad) do not have access to BitBot, nor do they allow extensions/add-ons on their browsers. I have not personally found a way around this. You may still access the site and manually roll.📝
I use BitBot. This is the best place to start from IMO. You can set it to notify you of rolls and gives direct access to the site from the app (you can also access the site from any device with internet). Once your account is "captcha free" you can set it to auto roll AND automatically claim rewards every 24 hours (RP increase, BTC increase, Lottery ticket Increase).
📝NOTE: Bitbot allows auto roll from the app for accounts over 500 RP. This isn't permanent, as it uses your RP. You'll need to log onto the website through a browser to achieve captch free account requirements, which Bitbot does recognize, which allow completely free rolls.📝
📝NOTE: Accessing FREEBITCO.IN through BitBot doesn't allow access to the Hi-Lo or betting games.📝
Bitbot optimization
I started manual claims by setting roll notifications to "ON" for a while until I supplemented my BTC in FREEBITCO.IN with what I was collecting from my miner and CryptoTab. Once I was able to AUTOMATE and I had enough RP to claim the RP BONUS, I set it to do that automatically every 24 hours as this nets more RP than you spend (EG, 100 RP roll bonus costs 1200 RP, but can net 2400 RP if claimed every hour). Eventually you accrue enough RP to claim the %1000 BTC bonus, probably at a rate of once or twice a week.
My current BitBot settings now that its auto claiming, I have the 24 hour auto bonus claiming 100 RP roll bonus and 100% claim bonus, spending a total of 1520 RP, but I'm making 2400 RP with the RP bonus, leaving me 780 RP in the positive each day. Every now and then I'll stop the auto bonus claim so I can buy the 1000% claim bonus (3200 RP). So on a normal day I'll make about 1344 Satoshi. Bitbot auto bonus settings
Once your accrue more referrals, or save enough RP, it's possible to claim the 1000% BTC roll bonus multiple days in a row. This is just about as optimal as you can get for auto rolling.
Self Referrals
If you have two devices (phone and computer preferably) you can make two accounts as long as one uses a different wifi or internet connection, as the roll rewards tracks IP addresses for roll counts. So if you have 2 devices on the same network, it sudo links accounts, so if you roll on one, it restarts the timer on the other. This allows you to collect referral rewards from yourself. Effectively adding 25% of interest and 50% roll rewards.
I currently have a phone autorolling on BitBot with a computer autorolling on Firefox with a tool to roll automatically as long as the page remains open. My computer account is referred from my mobile account, and is currently bringing in an extra .000015+ BTC weekly (currently, total will be this Sunday and I will update).
I've also made another account on my partners phone, linked it with bitbot and got it auto-rolling. Once bitbot is going, its non-invasive and you can silence notifications, it also uses minimal data.
Supplementing with CryptoTab
I'll use CryptoTab on my computer 24/7 to earn BTC from that while I have FREEBITCO.IN running. I also have it running on my phone at night when I sleep and on an iPad I have that I don't use much, its server mining, so no worries about battery on mobile devices. On computers it does actually use your processing power. You can directly deposit into you FREEBITCO.IN accounts.
CryptoTab Link
I've used it for two weeks and have earned a total of .000454 BTC (3.60$ USD). Not huge, but enough to start collecting interest on FREEBITCO.IN and to get the capthca free account requirements.
Supplementing with Cointiply
🛑WARNING: Cointiply's main currency is the constant, weighted against the dollar (10,000 coin/1USD). This means your actually BTC holdings will fluctuate with BTC's price.
For this reason, it's my strong opinion that DON'T HODL in Cointiply as you're not holding actual BTC.🛑
Cointiply is a great site to earn decent amounts of COIN which translate to SAT's. Earn coin, withdraw to FREEBITCO.IN (as you actually hold BTC in cointiply).
I also use an ASIC miner (Antminer s9i, DIY liquid cooled and overclocked with BixBit firmware), and whatever I earn I'll put that into FREEBITCO.IN to collect interest. If you want, I may be willing to do a rental.
📝NOTE: Since this faucet has been around a while, many people privy to sites such as this are already signed up. So getting referrals can be a slog. My tips for your ads is be genuine and don't hard sell or post "too good to be true" sensational ads.📝
This is another faucet. Its structure is a bit different from FREEBITCO.IN, as you complete offers to earn coin. Within this site (also an app) users can earn coins by doing PTC ads (and other offers), this is a good method to get exposure as you can advertise as well. Using this method my traffic for last week as about 800 people.
13000 coins buys about 1000 "clicks" on your ads. They also have options to advertise to people based on location (these options will increase or decrease cost). After your first ad, you usually get a 10% off coupon good for 7 days as well.
You can earn this amount within a day doing surveys on Theorem. I've done surveys before, and this has to be one of the best surveys sights I've ever done. Very rarely do I get kicked out mid survey, and if I do, I still get partial pay.
I will also use "Hideout" on my computer and leave it running. It has to be the open tab on your browser, with the browser open, not minimized. Let it go and check it occasionally as it has a timeout at roughly 2-3 hrs idle. As of now this is the best passive method of earning on Cointiply.
Pi Network, an ICO (Initial coin offering) based on trust and social media is another good medium for advertising. I will usually see 15-20 people click on my link with 2-4 ads posted per day.
Just go to "chat", select "random" and post an ad in the chat channel. No charge.
My tip, keep your ads short to medium in length, don't spam.
This is another crypto earned through "geo-mining". On the "coin" app you can do a "geodrop" where you can leave a note. Just click on the box with a parachute icon, select "any" on the "Tile" selection. Leave your ad in the "note" section.
It costs 10 "COIN" at the very least to do a "geodrop". This method may not be worth it if you aren't already involved in the program. To earn a substantial amount of coin, you'll need a subscription or a "sentinel". Sentinels can actually be purchased for under 20$ nowadays (depending on site) and is the best option to earn. Without these you'll only make approx .05-.18 coin every 30 seconds if you're actively moving.
My tips if you plan on advertising on this platform, once again keep it short, and only advertise around 7-9am and 4-6pm, as this will be peak mining hours with people driving to and from work.
My FREEBITCO.IN Referral Link
What is a Satoshi?
Bitcoins price through Coingecko
CryptoTab Link
Autoroll on Firefox
Coinbase Link
submitted by thatoneguyYMK to SpareCash [link] [comments]

11 Top non-answers from Andreas Antonopolous' AMA

Taken from this article:
On bitcoin's scalability
There are many competing proposals to address scalability. For the most part I don't think scale is an issue right now, though it might become an issue quite quickly. Bitcoin's consensus algorithm requires a very conservative approach to change, so I certainly think it is best to solve problems when they are actually problems and not before. Optimization and scaling should be done much later in the lifecycle of a technology, right now we're in the experimentation stage. However, it is important to continue to research possible optimizations and make sure that no design limitations are introduced.
Don't worry, it's not a problem until it becomes a problem. No need to worry about the known issues until shit hits the fan. Very strange reasoning from a so called security expert. Does he use the same logic for security issues? Oh there's a bug in the software that can be exploited? No worry, just leave it there until someone actually uses it to steal 5 million dollars worth of bitcoin.
On favoring bitcoin over altcoins
It is actually very difficult to bootstrap a successful currency that is necessary to back the security of the network. It took 3 years for bitcoin to evolve to a level where attacks against the consensus algorithm became very difficult. Bitcoin has a tremendous "network effect", in my opinion, which may give it an insurmountable early-mover advantage. In technology it is often not the best technology that "wins", but the one that achieves broad enough adoption and recognition early enough. Good enough beats best if deployed broadly.
So bitcoin is not the best solution but they were first so screw everybody else.
On the cause of bitcoin's recent price drop
Sentiment disconnected from fundamentals driving a tiny pool of liquidity into a whiplash reaction. Bitcoin continues to work at a broad range of prices and is dynamically adapting to the price change. Bitcoin will remain, in my opinion, a relentless anomaly that refuses to go away - a black swan that cannot be ignored or extinguished.
If you string enough buzzwords together, it will look like a serious answer to the untrained eye. Also, obviously it's because something is disconnected from the fundamentals.
On why 'average' people should use bitcoin
To experience the future of money. To gain a glimpse into an exciting technology. To learn about how money could be in the future and also become aware of how limited money and banks are today. For the "other 6 billion" who don't enjoy international, control-free banking as we do, bitcoin represents an opportunity to become part of a global economy which up till now did not exist. For those users, bitcoin is more than just a curiosity, it might be a doorway to connect to the world.
i.e. To enjoy the true euphoria that is the libertarian utopia.
On where he sees bitcoin in one year
It's still far too early. Bitcoin is at the same stage as the Internet in 1992-1993. At that time, it took UNIX command-line skills to send email. No way near ready for mainstream adoption. However, while it took almost 20 years from the day I sent my first email until my mom used her new iPad to send her first email, bitcoin is likely to be adopted on a much more accelerated schedule. After all, there is no need to deploy much infrastructure - you can just download an app. Overall, I expect people will be surprised by how fast the technology and adoption evolve, rather than the opposite.
So the first part is a blatant lie. Then it gets confusing since the first web browser was released in 1991 and the world wide web was first created in late 1989. So after 6 years, bitcoin is in the same place where the web was after 2-4 years. Six years after the web was made, we had computers with browsers in our schools. I have a bank statement which I printed from my online bank from 1998. It took a new electronic money transfer service that lets you easily send money with a smart phone app the banks introduced in late 2012 exactly 2 years to reach 2 million of a 9 million population. If bitcoin was considered useful, it would have been huge by now. We see now proof of any major growth and no, it's not like the internet. 6 years is starting to look rather embarrassing. Google had a market cap of 23 billion USD after 6 years.
On the centralization of mining
It ebbs and flows. I don't see it as a problem, I trust the market to dynamically adapt. The consensus algorithm creates a set of incentives that reward good actors and punish bad actors. So far, it is working better than anyone expected.
It doesn't ebb and flow. It is steadily centralizing because of economy of scale. Apparently, moving the control of the entire network over to a handful of Chinese miners is working as intended. I asked him what mechanisms there were for decentralization and what incentives there was for small scale miners. I did not get a response from Andreas. I got a couple responses from other people that failed to understand the question. Anyway, it seems like Andreas is taking the same approach here as with scalability. It's not a problem now so lets ignore it until there's only two miners left.
On non-user friendly bitcoin addresses
When I first used the Internet, I had a list of IP addresses folded up in my wallet. Those were the days before DNS. My first email was sent to an IP address. There are already many active proposals to replace and hide addresses. I expect they will disappear just like IP addresses are hidden from most user's view.
Someone else will solve it probably. Just post it in the wiki and it will sort itself out. Because why make something user friendly from the start when someone else can solve it later?
On non-reversible charges
Non-reversible charges can be addressed in a number of ways. I recently did a presentation in Sydney Australia where I talked about using automated escrow with multi-signature addresses and time-locked transactions to achieve simple consumer protection and chargebacks on the bitcoin protocol. It's programmable money, the possibilities are endless.
So no chargebacks are no longer a selling point and to solve that, lets introduce a third party in the equation and make the transactions even slower.
On bitcoin's volatility
I expect bitcoin's volatility will decline in direct relation to the size of the currency market. As bitcoin is adopted more broadly, it supports a bigger economy, more people rely on it and price things in it, it becomes harder and harder to "push it around" for speculators. That of course assumes transparent markets (exchanges) that are not manipulated.
Well so far, bitcoin exchanges and other big players have been far from transparent. There's also been quite a bit of manipulation because it's relatively easy and there's no one to stop them from doing it. I guess it's true that the price would stabilize if you got enough people using it. How that will happen remains a mystery and there's no real sign of any major growth in users. The daily volume in dollar have been pretty munch constant since March 2014. The only reason bitcoin volume is increasing is because the value is decreasing.
On VC investments in the bitcoin in 2015
I think the investments in bitcoin startups and the related ecosystem will grow even faster in 2015. Most exciting technology is not only attracting investors, but also some of the smartest techies, devs and designers I've ever met.
It seems like quite a few comapnies could use a new injection of VC money since they seem to be bleeding money. Companies are closing down because of low profitability. Others refuse to reveal any relevant numbers but it seems like it's very hard to make a profit. Based on the claimed transaction volume and fees, bitpay are burning through that VC money they got at an alarming rate. Luckily, they don't wast it one useless stuff like a football game... As it stands, I doubt we'll see a large influx of new VC money. Once investors see that companies in the bitcoin space are starting to go bust, they'll probably stay away because there's no money to be made. You need an actual growth or a great promise for growth to attract investors. Bitcoin fail on both points right now.
On the first (and last) thing he bought with bitcoin
First: I bought a pound (lb) of coffee, for about $1200 in today's money, in 2011 ;-) Last: A physiotherapy session for about $80, yesterday.
That's just too easy...
TL;DR: A whole lot of buzzwords and hot air...
submitted by Zotamedu to Buttcoin [link] [comments]

Non-Psychic, Wild-Guess Predictions for 2015

The current top post on failed psychic predictions of 2014 gave me an idea: since we are just as likely to be successful in our predictions (in fact, I'd argue we have a better chance simply through sheer cynicism), why not put together a bunch of skeptical predictions for 2015 and see how we do by comparison?
It won't prove anything of course, but it would be amusing if overall we turned out to be more accurate than the self-proclaimed "legitimate psychics".
Be as specific or general as you like, but remember that specific predictions are always more impressive when they hit, and no one will remember your misses.
To show willing, I'll start off with a handful of my own for your amusement and/or ridicule. The categories are arbitrary and should not be seen as a limiting factor for your own submissions.
Without further ado...

ramblingnonsense's Non-Psychic Predictions for 2015

World events

  1. Edward Snowden will leave Russia briefly, prompting lots of speculation about his location and whether he's been taken into US custody. He will return to Russian unharmed. The purpose of his excursion will not be revealed, but it will be generally assumed he was meeting family.
  2. ISIS will lose more territory, but the brutality of their individual acts will increase. Truly horrible things (worse than the beheadings) will be filmed and broadcast to the world, prompting universal outrage and condemnation, even by some of its own members.
  3. Europeans and others attempting to return home after fighting for ISIS or other terror groups will be denied re-entry to their home countries. This will result in a new group of stateless people and an international civil rights debate. There will be accusations that nations are simply revoking citizenship of "undesirables", regardless of their affiliation with terrorism.
  4. Random hostage events like the the one currently happening in Sydney will occur several more times in Western nations. It will be harder to tie them to a central organization as radicals increasingly and independently undertake copy-cat attacks.
  5. Multiple non-binding UN resolutions will be brought against the USA for everything from human rights infringements to the spying debacle. No actual action will be taken.
  6. Israel will continue to harden its line against the Palestinians with no end in sight. No actual invasion this year, though.
  7. The tide will turn against Ebola in Africa this year as a vaccine becomes viable and is accelerated through the testing process. Unfortunately, actually getting the vaccine distributed will be difficult, as distrust of Western doctors continues to fill the affected areas. There will be a few more sporadic cases outside of Africa but no recorded cases of human transmission outside the worst-hit regions.


  1. Outbreaks of disease previously squelched by vaccination will finally prompt a backlash against "philosophical exemptions" and other such nonsense, but not much progress will be made due to political deadlock at the state and federal level.
  2. Speaking of deadlock, the new congress will (against all odds) manage to be less even productive than the current one, passing almost nothing for the entire year. The US government will teeter on the edge of shutdown almost monthly due to radical rightwing politicians in the House. Ratings agencies will threaten to download the US's credit rating again as the majority party attempts to extract more and more concessions on every passed bill.
  3. A prominent anti-gay US political figure will become embroiled in a sex scandal. He will be pressured to resign his position, but will refuse after attending a pray-the-gay-away program and claiming to be "cured". Accusations of bigotry will fly not at him, but at those who urged him to resign.
  4. Lawsuits over fracking and environmental damage will multiply. Extraction companies will pull out of some areas due to the the dropping/stagnation of oil prices, but this will be blamed on anti-fracking lawsuits. Bills will be proposed at the state and federal level to prevent and/or complicate lawsuits against fracking operations.
  5. US environmental initiatives will go nowhere as their funding is yanked.


  1. Bethesda Studio's next major release (almost certainly Fallout 4) will be announced, along with an abandonment of the Creation engine. Speculation will run rampant about whether or not the game will be moddable as their past games were.
  2. SpaceX will suffer a major catastrophic malfunction resulting in loss of equipment, but not life. Their response to this will only increase their credibility, however, as the investigation is made entirely under the public eye.
  3. Bitcoin will see a huge boost in usage and value in the first quarter. This will necessitate a change in the algorithm to allow for more transactions per second. Unfortunately this change will not be a smooth one, as large mining operations will be slow to upgrade and fears of a blockchain fork run rampant. After a brief crash, the value will regain its first-quarter levels and continue slowly rising over the rest of the year.
  4. The inner workings of the Stingray cell tower spoofer will finally be revealed in court. This will not change how it is used, but it will become clear to even the dullest criminal that cell phones cannot be trusted as secure devices.
  5. Virtual Reality will finally live up to the hype it generated in the 1990s, thanks to the release of several affordable VR devices and oddball things like Google Cardboard.
  6. Apple will release an enormous iPad tablet. The big selling point will be split-screen multitasking. The tech world will yawn, but the consumer market will go ice cold thick banana whips over things like being able to drag-and-drop photos into Facebook. A retina-display Macbook Air will also be announced. The iWatch will be a moderate hit, but will compare unfavorably to similar devices running Android.
  7. Microsoft will release Windows 10 in early October. Uptake will be slow, but faster than it was for Windows 8. Businesses, however, will continue to rely on Windows 7.
  8. Google will be largely focused inward and have a fairly quiet year. A point release for Android L will make its way out, but the changes will be incremental.
  9. Neither Apple nor Google will waver on their device encryption stance. Various spy agencies world-wide will make increasingly improbably claims about how dangerous encryption is.
  10. New Horizons will send back lots of awesome pictures of Pluto and Charon, despite a transmission problem that slightly reduces its bandwidth and an antenna-aiming mishap. There will be a peculiar object or feature visible near the terminator on Pluto that defies our understanding of planetary formation. Explanations will range from extraterrestrials to secret bases built by Atlantis, but ultimately it will be determined to be one of the largest geological features in the solar system, formed by processes not yet understood.
  11. The site that eventually kills Reddit will make its first appearance this year, but won't actually start to make waves until well into 2016.


  1. Another hack of celebrity nudes on the order of "the Fappening" will occur, but the media response will be quite different. It will become clear the leaks were facilitated by poor individual security, rather than being the fault of "the cloud". A minor backlash against "the cloud" will nevertheless ensue, as everyone goes and turns off their auto-backups.
  2. Noodle bars. Noodle bars everywhere.
  3. Jerry Lewis will survive the year.
  4. A previously unknown musician on Soundcloud will suddenly be noticed and the ensuing viral media storm will elevate them to being a household name. This same process will be repeated for another artist later in the year, but it will be revealed as a record studio campaign attempting to recreate the previous artist's success. This will result in a predicable (but dramatic) PR backfire.
Well, that's it. Sorry if a lot of these seem like downers, I don't have much faith in humanity just at the moment. Know the awesome thing, though? Your predictions are just as good as mine! Don't like 'em? Do better! I want to hear your predictions, so post away!
Let's show those psychics what for!
Edit: Added a prediction about Ebola that I forgot to put in the first time.
submitted by ramblingnonsense to skeptic [link] [comments]

New App Store rules, bans crypto mining apps
Under the updated App Store Review Guidelines, cryptocurrency-related applications will be categorized into a particular criterion: Wallet, for apps from developers “enrolled in an organization” that facilitate virtual currency storage; Exchange, for apps that facilitate transactions of cryptocurrency on an approved exchange, provided that they are offered by the exchange itself.
Apps are also forbidden from using an iPhone or iPad chipset to mine directly for cryptocurrencies. Only mining activities performed in the cloud or otherwise are allowed.
“Apps, including any third party advertisements displayed within them, may not run unrelated background processes, such as cryptocurrency mining,” according to the revised guidelines.
Meanwhile, apps for initial coin offerings (ICOs), cryptocurrency futures trading, and other crypto securities or quasi-securities trading must come from established banks, securities firms, futures commission merchants or other approved financial institutions, according to the revised Apple rules. The apps must also comply with applicable laws.
Finally, applications — even those already on the App Store — that offer cryptocurrency from completing specific tasks are now prohibited. These tasks include downloading other apps, encouraging other users to download the app, as well as posting to social networks, among others.
“Cryptocurrency apps may not offer currency for completing tasks, such as downloading other apps, encouraging other users to download, posting to social networks, etc.,” according to the last rule.
Apple’s App Store is already much stricter in its attitude towards cryptocurrencies compared to marketplaces such as Google Play. In 2014, the Cupertino-based tech giant removed all Bitcoin-related applications, and, a couple of years ago, it asked companies to remove digital assets such as Dash from their apps. These rules may affect some of the apps on the App Store as well as those that may be published in the near future.
submitted by W12io to u/W12io [link] [comments]

Repost for a nice not-so-new pool looking for hashrate !

Hello guys. I'm doing a repost of our old thread regarding Hypernova ( :
It's been quite 1 month since we announced our opening. We and our fellow users thought it might be a good idea to talk about it again since the pool's maturity increased and features added up to the list (like replacing proportional reward system with CPPSRB)
Let me show you the main features !
A nice looking and efficient web interface We'red tired about these copy-paste pools using the mmcFE-litecoin project. We've wanted something beautiful, original and useful. Soak managed to bring you the best web interface he could. Use it on your computer, phone, phablet, android, iphone, ipad, refrigerator, lawn-mower... Starting everything from scratch was our choice - and our pride.
Capped Pay Per Share with Recent Backpay Reward System We didn't find something else longer to spell. You may have already seen this reward system currently live on the Bitcoin mining pool Eligius. To be short : it's a system that tries to be close of the classic PPS reward system. The main difference is : the pool pays the miners with the solved blocks funds. The pool doesn't take risks on short/long rounds. When a round's unlucky and the pool can't pay anymore for the work, we shelve your shares for further backpay. As the formula calculating PPS price is based on a ~60% luck assumption (It is the same formula for every classic PPS pool), mathematically we should end up with more frequent lucky (with no shelves) rounds than unlucky. With that system the pool doesn't take the risk of being bankrupt. So what we have there is a nice compromise between PPLNS with high variance and PPS with null variance (which is balanced by higher fees and a risk of bankruptcy for the pool operators).
Custom difficulty choosable per worker We heard that a bunch of you doesn't like vardiff or fixed diff pools. That's why we let you the choice. Either you're a tiny cpu miner or a cowboy with GPU farms, you're free to choose your worker difficulty from 8 to 128.
Sweet pool efficiency We've worked hard on our infrastructure implementation and Stratum. Our general overall efficiency always have been above 99%. At the time I'm writing these lines it is at 99.47% accepted shares versus 0.53% rejected. We're aware about the latency challenge. That's why we opened 4 nodes around the world to ensure the lowest round trip time : (Europe, France) (USA, New York) (USA, Dallas) (USA, Los Angeles)
A helpful and nice community We're always happy to help you. By mail on [email protected] or on IRC Freenode's channel #hypernova with the pool operators and our fellow miners. Keep in touch with us, we're nice people always trying to crunch our 7950 to the best !
1% fee Using a nice PPS reward system with a good compromise allows us to lower the fee thus allowing to help us pay for the servers and infrastructure.
API with JSON encoded values So you're the cowboy with a farm of 7950 ? Enjoy our API to monitor your rigs !
How to join us ? Give a shot to the website : and create an account. Once you created a worker, point your miner toward your nearest node and shout us your best battle cry at #hypernova on Freenode ! EG (for cgminer) : cgminer -o stratum+tcp:// -u JohnDoe.myWorker -p 12345 --scrypt ...
Help us to spread the word ! We've put online a page especially for that : with links to every of our threads and useful buttons for Facebook/TwitteGoogle spreading.
Message for those that were with us from the beginning Thank you ! We're happy to see our project moving forward. We wouldn't have been that far without you supporting us. Thank you again and see you in the future.
So far, 2130 Litecoins redistributed to our fellow miners. Still counting... !
Hope to see you soon on Hypernova.. And sorry for the noise :)
submitted by M0nsieurChat to litecoinmining [link] [comments]

MAD Doge - Market Analysis 1/30/2014 (Afternoon Edition) - Don't get fooled...again.

Let's get started with some news:

DogeCoin New Push - Mining

What to do instead?

MAD Suggestions

Don't Advertise....yet.

When to buy into mining rigs

What Development? (Shibe Emmet Brown)

As always, SHIBE ON!
submitted by DRKMSTR to MADDOGE [link] [comments]

Bitcoin: A BIT of a problem

My name is Joe Average. I am the 80% of people who found out about bitcoin. I found out last week that an ATM for a new type of special currency is being released in my hometown, Vancouver BC Canada. Like many others, I'm still clueless about bitcoin, despite spending my halloween weekend researching it, trying to find out whether it's a trick or a treat (sorry I had to).
In this post, I'll list what I know about it, then list the thoughts, problems, and barriers that I, and probably 80% of the population, feel about bitcoin. These things are probably most relevant to those of you bitcoin enthusiast that have a vested interest in the success of the currency/commodity, because the general public represents a population that will influence the capacity that bitcoin can have in society.
Bitcoin has many advantages. Here are the advantages that I came across in forums and news articles: -free from government influence -zero bank fees -limited resource, naturally appreciating value -relatively anonymous -intangible, convenient to carry -irreversible transactions
And here are some problems, starting from the most relevant one which probably everyone thinks of right off the bat:
1-Bitcoin or cash? Why should I bother using bitcoin? Dozens of local merchants in my area are accepting bitcoin. Wow that's great! Now I can spend 2 hours acquiring bitcoin from a private, ungoverned, unregulated exchange (more on that later) and buy a medium belgium hot chocolate from waves (great drink by the way). Paying with card or cash? No ma'am, I'm paying with BITCOIN big teethy smile, eyebrows up and down several times Ok, bust out the ipad or whatever, spend 15 minutes waiting for the cashier to grab her ipad, unlock the screen, get a network connection at coffee shop network speeds, tap the bitpay app or w/e, load the app, scan my qr code, wait for the transaction to verify, blah blah blah, meanwhile, big ass line up forms behind me and I'm the big asshole who decided to pay with bitcoin instead of cash.
Okay, in all fairness, I'm probably being ignorant to some bitcoin app out there that cuts this whole process down from 15 minutes to just 5 minutes, the time it takes to verify transactions. But if I have to use an app, that probably costs money. So now my $4.50 dark belgium hot chocolate now costs $4.65 + 5 minutes of my life.
Hmm maybe I'll just 1) whip out some cash 2) whip out my visa card and pay it off right away so I don't incur interest fees 3) pay for it with debit, my bank doesn't charge me debit fees for using my card
2-Sending bitcoin So let's say what appeals to me is that bitcoin replaces Western Union, bank transfers, etcetc. I want to send $4,000 to Alice and Bob of ABC Co., payment for their work as hypothetical people in every accounting example I've ever read. For that amount, I'd have to pay >$100 in service fees from a money company. Or I could save myself >$100 by using bitcoin instead.
Okay great! Where do I start? Download a wallet. Done, nice. Next step, synchonize 208 weeks of ledger. Great.. oh, hang on. It's been 4 hours and I've downloaded 3 weeks. What the fuck?! How long does this take.. it doesn't even tell me how long it will take or how big the file is! computer left running overnight Awesome, just 2 more nights to go then I'll be fully syncrhonized. 2 days later hard-drive is maxed out? I needed a new one anyways. 4 days and a 500GB SSD later Now I have my wallet ready to use. Time to purchase some bitcoin!
So I purchase bitcoin, send it to Bob and Alice, and since they own ABC Co., a massive enterprise, they employ an IT guy, and he is the only guy in the company who will ever understand how to securely use bitcoin. He's behind 2 juniper firewalls (for redundancy), we VPN tunnel'd the payment code over with the pass, that way I know it went to him and nothing's been compromised. Because once the funds are sent out, it's gone, there is no insurance. Which brings me to my next point:
Bottom line: requires a lot of time to SAFELY and SECURELY send bitcoin, FEE-FREE. But that's okay because I have nothing better to do. If I had kids, errands, work, non-IT hobbies to do, $40-$100 might be worth the time it takes me to research the process of sending bitcoin out properly.
3-Bitcoin wallet services There's a whole list of companies emerging to take podium position in the race of the bitcoin wallet services world. Besides setting up a bitcoin exchange (which anyone can do in their basement), bitcoin wallets are the next biggest thing in bitcoin.
In the digital world, about 3 companies take podium position in a certain thing. Like Android/Apple/Blackberry for cell phones, Windows/Apple/Linux, Chrome/Firefox/IE, etc etc. Right now, for digital bitcoin wallets, everyone's competing to be one of those 3 major companies that everyone will use. Companies like coinbase.
These companies cost money. Coinbase has a pretty impressive talent pool. Let me introduce them to you:
Barry Kwok- Holy shit, this guy has a Masters in Engineering?! No seriously, this guy is a master of engineering. He built teams of 5 to 50 people at Google (fucking google man!). This guy is the first guy on the list, how much does he make? I'd have to guess $120k
Craig Hammell- This guy built OK Cupid. I know a guy who uses that shit to get laid, it really works, so OK cupid is probably a well-established company. Because of Craig's success with OK cupid, and the fact he looks that young, I'd say he probably doesn't make that much, just a modest $90k
Olaf Carlson-Wee- Olaf does rock-climbing, enough said. $95k
Fred Erhsam- Traded at Goldman Sachs. $150k
Charlie Lee- Invented Litecoin, worked on google chrome, google play, and youtube. $120k
Brian Armstrong- This guy has experience with Fraud Prevention. Don't know why they hired him, because as everyone's been saying, you can't fraud bitcoin. Since they don't need him, he's probably an intern.
Let's run some quick numbers: Total cost of salaries: $575,000/year Other expenses including dividends to investors: $3m/year
So this company has $3.6m a year to allocate to their consumer base of 329k of wallets, and 12k merchants. That is roughly $10.56/year per wallet or merchant. (realistically, the portion of cost between wallets and merchants would be not be split equally, and of course all these figures are pulled straight from thin air, however, this is reddit, not forbes).
That is a very low amount compared to using VISA which costs merchants $0.25/transaction+monthly service fee. As we can see, bitcoin is a great! Save some money.
But here's the problem: people fraud banks all the time. That costs money. Somebody puts $10k in their digital wallet, loses it, they're going to be pissed off. They'll start demanding it back from coinbase. The day coinbase pays 1 guy $10k compensation, the day they'll have to pay everyone that loses money like that, and that $3-mil figure I gave above will be much higher, and the fees everyone has to pay will go up. If coinbase doesn't compensate, then people will be reluctant to use bitcoin for anything other than small transactions.
This means bitcoin will not have the capacity to be adopted by regular people, like me. Either I lose big chunks of money at a time, when my digital wallet gets hacked, goes missing, frauded, etc, or I lose it in smaller chunks and frequency which is similar to a bank.
So digital wallet services are just like banks. Wait, I thought the bitcoin guys were saying banks were a bad thing?
4-Inflation vs Deflation I see a lot of bitcoin enthusiasts talking economics, which really angers me. You should read some of the things they say "inflation is bad, bitcoin actually deflates, so its good" "the government can't fuck with bitcoin, so its good" "bitcoin good, so it's good". If you're a bitcoin enthusiast and discussed bitcoin economics, you probably need to trade your internet credit for some college credits. Because seriously, that is some retarded shit. For example:
Inflation is bad, bitcoin deflates = good / The gov't can't fuck with bitcoin so it's good No. Inflation is good, yes I said it and you can quote me on that. Inflation allows job creation through lowering interest rates which encourages people and businesses to buy things. When stuff is bought, things happen. And jobs are required to make things happen. So when the government sees that "hey, our economy ain't doin too well, how bout we print some of ye ol' fashioned paper dolla bills" that's a strategic move to lower the unemployment rate and increase GDP.
The US is in shambles right now for reasons beyond inflation. The #1 reason why is labour costs too much in the US. Shaquila and Billy Bob don't want to work in a factory for $12/hr, they're too in love with hollywood and liberty, thinking they're entitled to a high paying comfortable job. Half of America thinks like that. But guess what, the Chinese don't, they're happy to pick up where Shaquila and Billy Bob left off. And because of the economies of scale thanks to their large population, that ignited over night, and now the US is left with a population that doesn't want to work. There's also a bunch of other reasons like going to war, etc, but that's debatable because there's a cost/benefit of going to war (own all the oil rigs out east to pay for things because you lazy fucks can't be bothered to make money with elbow grease).
The point is, mind fuck #1, inflation is a solution to a problem that's not related to money.
On the other side of the coin, deflation IS a bad thing.
Deflation, which bitcoin is designed to do, means that there will be fewer amounts of money to spend over time. That increases the price of things. That's good for people who are holding on to bitcoin. This encourages people to spend with bitcoin less, and save more. Mind fuck #2, saving money is bad, because it reduces GDP. It reduces the need for companies like coinbase to develop and create a product for spending bitcoin in the first place. So the more bitcoin deflates, the more its value goes up, the less people spend bitcoin on shit, the less merchants see a point in accepting bitcoin, the less merchants use bitcoin, the less people buy bitcoin, then bitcoins value goes down.
5-Limited supply of bitcoins This title should read Diminishing supply of bitcoins, but it would then be misinterpreted without an explanation. Bitcoins don't diminish, they are simply unaccounted for. Meaning, if you have bitcoins, and forget the password, it is gone forever. And in case you didn't know, people are human, making them prone to mistakes. Forgetting, etc. So, over time, enough people will lose bits and pieces of bitcoin here and there. That's going to add up over the long run. Units of measure will start going to miliBits, Microbits, ultra micro bits, ultra ultra micro bits. etc. Kind of like fiat currency, it can inflate to be infinitely large, and with bitcoin, infinitely smaller.
6-Exchanges and trading When Silk Road went down, bitcoin went up. First, naturally and by way of economics, fewer bitcoin = increased value. The Silk Road guy had $26-million USD worth of bitcoin, more than enough bitcoin to raise the market price. Followed by that, we have news, and hype, which drove higher. Then the fact prices are going up, makes a nice news article, which drives it up even more. When prices went up because of the news, incentive went up. Now the prices are so high, some people have made fortunes off of it. And that makes the news too, which drives it up again even higher.
That's a great incentive if you're a bitcoin investor. Hey, the winklevoss twins have 1% of bitcoin, all you miners go use your mining pools to break into the winklevoss account and delete the fuck out of their bitcoin wallets and backup, so you can raise the market value.
Just kidding. That's a lot of work. You know what's easier? This:
1) Start your own bitcoin exchange, no fees 100% free. 2) People will start trading on it. 3) ???? 4) Profit!
Actually step 3 isn't a mystery, you set the fucking price level to whatever you want it to be. And because it's 100% unregulated, unsanctioned, not tied to any commodities, no authority, no referee, no consortium, you can do whatever the fuck you want on it.
Without authority, believing that the prices on the bitcoin exchange is set naturally by way of price and demand is like believing in religion. You just have to believe.
Of course with public exchanges, there is some level of corruption involved, but that's why people get arrested and shit. Using bitcoin exchanges doesn't have that level of protection, and it never will. You think the governments own law enforcement is going to go after guys corrupting a private stock exchange, which trades a currency that negatively impacts their own fiat currency? Unless the government is somehow benefiting from bitcoin, which it won't by design, the police will simply have a good laugh at that.
In conclusion, there's so many flaws that I can see with bitcoin. But bitcoin enthusiasts will say otherwise. If I jumped on the bitcoin train 3 years ago, I'd probably do the same thing as you: make up some backwards economic reasoning it'll succeed, some backward political reason, etc.
So Dear Bitcoin, you just don't make enough sense to us, the general population, for us to adopt you. A great substitute for currency in the underground world, but you just don't fit with us here on the mainstream. And if you did fit, you'll end up being regulated just like currency, so what's the point? You're the same shit as my cash or cards. Fuck off. -Joe Average
submitted by smoothboi69 to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

Tales of IT converted to plain text for the sake of legibility

I got hired by my Dad to do IT. I know very little about IT besides games. These are my IT stories. be first day
 > woman asks me if I can install the latest version of adobe reader > fuck ya I got this DL like a boss > "Wow you're like a computer expert" > "Well you know..." > Asked to input admin credentials > forget admin credentials > try admin:password > nope.jpg > "uhhhh... uhhhh... oh crap somethings going on with the server.. be right back" > 3 months later she still doesn't have adobe reader 
be day 2
 > angry guy is on the phone asking me about some weird in house program > have no idea what the fuck he's saying > there's a pause > he's waiting for an answer > think back to the IT crowd > "Have you tried turning it on and off again" > "Like restarting" > "Give me a sec..." > it fucking worked 
day 3
 > hot sales rep comes in with laptop issues > she's 9/10 cougar > all flirty with me > tells me she needs something updated > can only hear her boobs > her laptop smells like strawberrys > download adobe reader for her and hand it back 
day 4
 > figure out how to turn off the servers > when people start asking for help > go into server room > turn off servers > come out oblivious and start downloading adobe reader > eventually people start screaming > THE SITES DOWN! THE SITES DOWN! > "I'm on it!" > run back to the server room > play hotline miami in the back for few hours > turn server back on near end of day > come out of server room > wipe brow from face > "I did it..." > people are singing my praises saying i saved the day > really just saved the girlfriend in HM 
day 5
 > run into cougar at coffee machine > ask her how things are going, just a general statement > instantly thinks im talking shop > starts telling me all the shit wrong with her computer > she doesn't see me as a human > she sees me as an it > tell her to drop off her laptop > she does > I upgrade her ie > download adobe reader > restart the machine > everythings fucking working > run it back to her > fix my hair > check my breath > act like I saved the day > she's in her office on the phone > she motions to put on her desk >1 do...kind of linger > "Is that everything hun?" > leave > hear her say "oh it was just IT" > just IT > that is all I am now 
day 6
 > really bored > decide to download a gameboy emulator and play some pokemon > the webfilters blocking it so I turn it off the whole thing I dont just whitelist it, I turn it all off > get to emulator site but now I need to turn off the antivirus > use the admin which I now know to do it... > end up turning off the whole antivirus settings on the server > download my emulator and rom > play my game > guy comes into my office > "I think I caught I virus" > me "gotta catch em all" > by the time I'm facing Misty 4 people have viruses 
day 7
 > same guy that was yelling at me day 2 is yelling at me > he cant remotely log in just as I am about to leave to go home > "Try turning it off then on again then call me back" > go home 
day 8
 > guy call from day 7 calls back > he's pissed > tells me he lost a client because of my stupidity > "shit happens man. I lost to team rocket like 10 minute ago" > "what the fuck are you talking about?" > click 
day 9
 > one of the printers is out of toner > some fat guy tells me to change it > "it's a toner man... can't you change it? I'm working on this huge issue with the server" > was really downloading steam > "it'll take a second... god I have much more important stuff to do... that's why you're here" > sigh and go do it > cant figure out how to fucking open the fucking cartridge door > start hitting it like they do in zoolander > tell the poor mentally challenged guy in the mail room I have a special job for him > he has to hide the magic egg in the chest of Hewlet Packard > go back to my server business > half an hour later the fat guy comes into my office > "What the fuck did you do to the printer?" > "Changed the toner" > He just starts shaking his head and muttering shit > we walk over to it > the mailroom guy jammed the cartridge in the wrong way and actually lodged it in there so half of it is sticking out > the door cant even close > there's black hand prints all over the printer too > Can feel the guy judging me so I just spew bullshit > "Looks to be a probably with the network." > the printer was down for over a month before I figured out we have a printer guy on call 
day 10
 > have to set up projector in the boardroom > cant find a thunderbolt to hdmi cable to hook it up to lazy to go to the store > dont even have a corporate card either > tell the people needing the projector that there's a compatibility issue with macbooks > they use some guys dellbook > the files from the mac end up not running on the dellbook > call me in mid meeting > all these business people staring at me as I am randomly clicking folders as fast as possible to look like I am pro > download adobe reader > double click files > works > "Thanks Anon, you saved me" 
day 11
 > there's a new hire > no one fucking told me anything > get screamed at that theres no computer for this new person > go in back to see if we have any spares > there's a few > but there's also some really old pcs from like the early 90's > boot it up > works > set up new person > everything lags > you open adobe reader? massive fucking lag > send out the computer > "it's the best we've got on short notice" > get like 40 sharepoint tickets the first day from that person > he's a real stickler for help > he ends up quitting the very next week saying he can't work under these conditions 
day 12
 > someones computer crashed > fuuuuuuuuck > set up computer > remember something about profiles being saved on the network > go back to the server room > look at the server rack like a total idiot as I try and figure out in my head how this works > tell the guy all his data is lost and there's nothing I can do > "b-b-bbut my project... i have to present that to the board on friday..." > "gone, man. It's gone" > play sim theme park the rest of the day 
day 13
 > roll up to work an hour late > whole office is in chaos > fallofrome.jpg > "HE'S HERE!" > Go in to my office open up mail > dozens of emails like: > "Hey is there something wrong with the server I can't log in to..." > "Any idea why the site is down I..." > the server is actually down > adobe reader can't save me now > "Just go back there and do what you did last time!" > everyone thinks its an easy solve > literally shaking in the server room because I don't know what to do > nap in server room for entire day > people are pissed can hear them banging on server door > we've missed deadlines > leave at 6:30 pm > the CFO sees me in the parking lot > hes been in a meeting all day doesn't know about my struggles > "You're still here?! That's the kind of can-do attitude I like to see" 
day 14
 > server is still down > my dads asking questions > everyone is pissed > take an early lunch > over hear some guys at the restaurant talking about buying a new modem for the office > hailmary.jpg > "Hey sorry to bother you during your lunch...but would either of you happen to be IT?" > before either of them could read me the riot act and tell me something like how the fuck dare I > I'm IT too > I show them my hand that I scratched up crawling wire on the floor > they nod > "What would you try doing if your server is completely fucked?" > "Have you tried restarting it?" > I go back and restart the physical machine > it fucking works 
day 15
 > hot cougar walks by office looking distressed > "Everything okay?" > "Oh good... I can't log into my email... can you please help me... PLEASE" > "I got you." > get her laptop > re-install microsoft office > outlook works again > poke through her emails to make sure things are working > send a test file > read the titles of her latest emails > "Divorce" > hand back her laptop > "Looks like its working now" > "Thanks..." > "Everything okay?" > "Well..." > this is fucking it, tell me your sob stories cougar woman and then its or > "My mouse is acting a bit funny, can I get a new one" 
day 16
 > one of the mailroom guy's monitors isn't working > it's coming up all green > backstory: there's been a huge misappropriation of funds because I gave him dual monitors just because he's a mentally challenged and I figured if anyone needs 2 screens its him > all he does is look at msn slideshows > and use the fedex webapp or something > he's a nice guy so I actually try and fix it for him > nothings working > think its a driver issue > think its a setting issue > think its an actual hardware issue > whole time people are coming to me with real problems but I keep saying "I'll be there in a minute" > after 2 hours the mailroom guy goes > "maybe da pug ish boken" > I swapped out the hdmi cable with a brand new one > it worked > I officially am less adept at my job then a poor mentally challenged guy 
day 17
 > nice old woman who talks to me about sports tells me her keyboard is shit > she's oldest person in the office by far > old as dirt > tell her I have just the thing > go in the back and unbox a brand new keyboard meant for the programmers > bring it to the old woman > "You're such a helpful young man" > reach down awkwardly to plug in the new keyboard > get back up and dust pants off > old lady looks like she's having a heart attack > look at the screen > it's fucking blank > on my way back up to my feet I hit the power button > she lost 3 hours of work > 3 hours that old woman will never ever see again 
day 18
 > company meeting > we're over budget > there has been ridiculous spending > "we've lost money for almost a month > day 18 > almost a month > they are going to out me > IT budget comes up in discussion > we're one of 2 departments that are coming under budget > "Great job Anon. I heard about the server issues here... you're the man" > at the end of the meeting a 45 year old events planner asks me if I fix computers on the side > "Not really..." > "Oh... I have this one blasted thing that needs fixing. You couldn't just come over and fix it?" > bullshit > for a laugh I say, "yeah it's cool, just give me your address and I'll be over after work" > not sure if I'm getting sex > buy condoms > she's not that hot like a 6/10 tops > not even going to lie > last call kind of hot > arrive at her house > ring the door bell while standing all suave leaned up against the door > her husband answers the door > shows me to the computer > install the latest version of adobe reader > get $20 > go home 
day 19
 > some guy crashes a program so I have to reinput the settings > go onto his cubicle mates computer > check settings > 2 hours later > "You wrecked my computer... I want my fucking computer back exactly how it was I don't know what you did but somethings off my usb drive is buzzing..." > wtf > I didnt do shit to your computer. I checked a program you open 20 times a day > super pissed so I go back into the server room and play Thomas Was None > hear knock on server room door > its the cubtclemate > "Hey, Thanks for fixing it. > "Fixing what?" > "The my usb drive" > I didn't do shit lol > "Oh yeah don't mention it" 
day 20
 > spend entire day cleaning the server room up > getting it all nice > just unplugging network cables wily nifty so I can colour coordinate them > people are losing their shit > they are randomly getting kicked off > tell people there are some issues with our isp > I make sure to say I-S-P as I have now learned by spelling in abbreviations no matter how common makes you sound techy > by the end of the day the server rack is all classy looking > unfortunately I never mapped anything and a handful of people can't connect because their ports aren't connected to anything > tell them the I-S-P will have it done ASAP and go home 
day 21
 > now that the server room is all clean I set up all the test boxes in the back > 8 machines in total all connected to the network > try joining monitors all together like you see on cool threads, you know like the racing ones? > realize these are shit old monitors and you can't do that > come up with the great idea of bitcoin mining with these boxes > set it up for the first half of the day > after lunch I'm mining > terribly but I am mining > people start complaining about server lag > blame the lag on the olympics > suggest that the whole office must be streaming it > ban the olympics on the web filter > office is divided; can see the divide in my email > people who are pissed about not being able to watch the olympics > and the keeners who think its all work and no play at work > I've officially gained power though, people respect me for making this mandate > "He's a real company guy" 
day 22
 > its birthday day > office celebrates all the months birthdays > take cake > set up n64 in the boardroom > challenge people in the office to goldeneye > keep saying "Hey I'm just taking a 5 minute break for some cake want a quick game?" > own the shit out of all of them > realize I did absolutely nothing all day but eat cake and game > no one ever noticed 
day 23
 > cougar calls in from the road > she's having trouble accessing a key app for a client on her ipad > she tells me its name > have no idea what it is > but make sure to sound astute > ask her if she's using WIFI or 3G > "How do I check" > "Nevermind let me check from my maincore system" > google the app but nothing comes up > ask one of the other sales people > "oh it's just an infographic on our main site" > tell the hot cougar to come into the office because it's going to require me to hardcode the changes in > she drives 2 hours to come to the office so I can open up Safari and bookmark it to her ipad homepage 
I'll continue this tomorrow, believe it or not there's an ending to this but I can't get to it today.
day 24
 > people heard from the 45 year old events planner I do house calls > bunch of idiots are bringing in their home computers, mobile devices, anything technical for me to fix > tell people I can only do it after hours and I charge $20 for small stuff and $50 for large. > most of it is simple fixes > windows updates or adobe reader installs fix it > but then I get it > the laptop from hell > this fat indian guy hands me his laptop in a plastic bag, not a laptop bag, a plastic one > "What's wrong with it?" > "You tell me genius" > Load it up and it's asking for some system restore or something. > just hit next and okay > fixes it but it says I need to load chkdisk? > figure that has something to do with the cd drive > open it up > there's a thick fucking layer of bread crumbs in the tray > tilted the machine to its side > motherfucking bread crumbs just pouring out of the laptop > restart the machine > it loads perfectly > turns out the guy was using it as a tray for his morning bagel > fucking toaster laptops 
Hi AV its the IT guy from yesterday
day 25
 > even though I'm shit at IT > one guy thinks because I am IT I am super techy > he asks me what my favourite browser is > "Google.... Ultron" > "it like chrome?" > shit thats what I meant > "yeah...but's what nasa uses" > "cool could you dl that for me?" > gulp > "yeah no worries" > literally start shaking the mouse back and forth so fast you can see the cursor > then ctrl alt deleted into task manager > " go. All done. It looks like google chrome. but its really ultron. no one else can tell." > to this day he still thinks he runs google ultron 
day 26
 > some woman calls me over > "it'll just take a sec, it's super simple" > shit > asks me to hook her up to a new printer > she hops out of her chair and lets me sit down > forget how to add network printers > her and her friend are talking right over my shoulder staring at the screen > "Is this going to take long?" > I fake deep thought as I stare at the screen with one hand on my temple > "Anon? I have a deadline is this going to..." > "What the fuck..." > both of the women are startled > "THERE'S A VIRUS ON THIS MACHINE" > and I just storm off like I'm pissed 
day 27
 > learn about a remote access tool that the whole office uses > decide to haunt the old nice old lady from before > i randomly move the mouse for a few hours > she struggles to do basic tasks > she comes and asks me for a new mouse > oblige her > hook it up and leave > look back at remote tool > mouse is moving again, she opens up word > I begin to type > "Hi" > no response > "Hi > "Hello? Who is this?" > "It's death :(" 
day 28
 > a guy asks me to burn him a copy of a dvd for a presentation > holy fuck I know how to do that > burn it for him > march back down to his office, proudly holding the dvd high in the air > Woman tries to stop me "Hey can you..." > "Not now... I've got IT business to attend to" > hand the guy his burned dvd > this might be one of the first things IVe done right here > tear in my eye > so proud of how far I have come > I am true IT > 5 minutes later I get a call "Hey...yeah there's nothing on the dvd..." 
day 29
 > give new hire her new laptop > nothing is fucking setup right > forgot to hook up her outlook to exchange > no worries she did it herself > cool > she asks me if I can type in the admin credentials so she can dl some social media tool > "Sure" > fuck up the login credentials like 3 times and get locked out > have to unlock it from my machine > can't figure it out but go back because I left my gameboy in her office > she starts making small talk > "So where'd you go to school to become an IT person?" > she's fucking on to me > try logging in once more to admin account > locked out still > "Yeah... you know what? I think this Hootsuite extension is a virus. I don't want that shit on my network" 
day 30
 > here's where shit starts to really hit the fan > as you know i had setup a bitcoin mining rig in the server room > it was just eating up all the bandwidth > the whole network was barely operational > and now because of my ineptitude and blaming things on viruses people started a rumour > that the whole network was being attacked by a rogue hacker group > after lunch I get pulled into a meeting by with all the execs > the jig is up > "As you know we've been experiencing a multitude of issues with our network..." > I'm fucked > "from the lag to the viruses" > so fucked > "We want you to head up the investigation and find out who's doing this and why" > ROFL > I am the fucking dirty cop on the force who's tasked with finding the dirty cop > I am the fucking law 
day 31
 > tell people I'm running server calibrations > "it's like dusting for finger prints" > no one's the wiser > show this one middle aged guy with a beard how to use a webapp > go to favourite it for him and put it on the toolbar > notice all of his favourites > Big titty housewife > Pajama Butt Slut > Mexican girl on bus > mouse over them as I mouth read them > he starts freaking out > begs me not to tell > "Why shouldn't I?" > "Ill buy you lunch" > got 10 chicken nuggets 
day 32
 > for some reason the entire office is having to fill in a captcha every time they google anything > have no idea why this happening > Google ultron guy asks me if this has to do with the virus and if he should be backing up his data > "First. Always back up your data." > he nods to my tech savvy > "Second. It's a security measure INce put in place. There are robots afoot." > he nods again like my word is law 
day 33
 > Ultron guy blabs and tells everyone about google ultron > now everyone in the fucking office has a sharepoint ticket asking for it to be installed > a few of the more competent people are asking me what the fuck google ultron is > I just give them finger guns until they walk away > have to spend entire day going from desktop to desktop pretending to dl google ultron > literally spend 3-4 hours pretending to dl software that nasa uses > one girl asks me if this even legal > "Are you a cop?" > she reports me to HR for "criminal like behaviour > have already explained to HR what google ultron is... > HR thinks its real > HR thinks nasa uses it > HR tells the narc to stop interfering with important technological matters because the narc doesnt know anything about IT like me > doesnt know anything about IT like me 
day 34
 > been playing portal 2 all day in my office > haven't heard so much as a complaint > haven't had to update adobe reader or adobe flash all fucking day > something's not right > no one's said shit about it > poke my head out of the office > everyone's heads down just typing away > starting to get worried > ask a guy how his computer is working > "Great. Ever since you downloaded Google Ultron, my whole computer has just been flying" > wtf > do a quick google search on google chrome > supposedly it automatically downloads the most up to date versions of adobe > omfg > if I don't have fucking adobe reader I'm fucking out of a job > send out mass email > ATTN: do not open google ultron it has been hacked > spend rest of day uninstalling and making IE the default browser 
day 35
 > people are becoming restless with the hackevirus stuff > they wonder why I haven't solved the case yet > some even believe its not a hacktivst group like I've been hinting > "We're not just dealing with amateurs here. We're dealing with the best. And that's why I need to update your antivirus scanner" > just to strike the fear into people I covertly turn on the computer of a person who's sick and stationed right in the middle of one of the larger areas > turn off her monitor > put speakers full > then go back to office and remote in > play Wham's Jitterbug at 3 second intervals throughout the day > eventually people Start coming to my office to report this > I nod > it's worse than I thought > "What? What is it?" > it's the Jitterbug gang. One of the world's best hacking groups" > "I've never heard of them." > "That's why they're the best" 
day 36
 > check messages > local police called > FUUUUCK > need to speak with me since I am IT about recent hacks on our organization > delete message > cougar comes into my office > asks if I can adjust her desktop so the wallpaper changes every couple of minutes > "Sure." > head over there with her > she tells me she's getting a divorce > "Oh." > Says she's actually starting to date again and it's pretty awkward > fuck it > "Wanna maybe grab a beer sometime after work?" > she laughs > "What? I mean why not?" > "You're joking right? You're IT..." > my eyes well up as I stare at adobe prompts me that reader has a new update > "Just gonna download this." 
day 37
 > feeling like shit today > cougar told her sales friends that I tried asking her out > people are laughing behind my back > can hear the whispers > "eww haha IT?!!! ewwwwww" > want to just open up a computer and jump through the moving cpu fan > mean sales guy who usually calls (yeah that one) stops by office > "My laptops not working" > I trudge over to his desk with him > hit the power button for a reset > don't say anything and just walk away > "If that's all you ever do.. Why do we need you?' > turn around > "what?" > "if you only ever just restart my computer... why are we paying you? I can restart my own damn computer" > grin > "Have you ever repaired a server here? Do you know how hard it is to get it operational? Remember how we were down for a day and a half?" > he shakes his head > "That's what I thought." > of course I just restarted it lol 
day 38
 > still feel like shit after the cougar shut me down > decide to block 1 major site on the webfilter every hour > feel like the Joker doing it > first youtube > then ebay > then reddit > hear the moans from people as they read my webfilter note > "This is a place of work not a fun house" > One woman storms into office > "This is not funny...this is serious" > "Why so serious?" I ask her > "I need you to unblock ebay" > lot seriously > "I HAVE AN AUCTION ENDING IN 5 MINUTES!" > put it back on the safe list > but it was too late > she missed out on her cellphone case > mwhahahahaha 
day 39
 > an "investigator" comes to the office > the execs were worried that we had too much to lose and wanted to bring in a professional > I'm fucked > show him around the office > he keeps asking to see the server room > "And this is Carol. She's a riot. Aren't you Carol" > doing everything I can to stall > we go back into the server room > he compliments me on how neat the cables are > think about picking up a monitor and bashing his skull in and then running away to mexico > cant do it > I'm not a monster > I'm IT > the guy goes onto the server > asks me for the login info > figure the jig is up > give it to him > he logs in > opens up IE > looks over his shoulder at me > "You don't need to be here" > "It's fine" > I need to be there when it happens > he literally starts shaking his mouse really quickly around IE clicking on random parts of the screen > I know because a popup for Home depot came up > he starts muttering to himself... "hmmm... hmmm" > watch him type in adobe reader in google > he dl's it > swings his cursor around some more > and then finally goes > "fucking hackers right?" > we are brothers he and I > IT brothers 
day 40
 > wake up and realize how lucky I truly am not to be fired or worse > see cougar girl walking into the office from parking lot > asks me how things are going > I think we finally put an end to the jitterbug gang > "no, I meant... not work stuff' > look at her strangely then smile. > "Oh you know how it is" > she flicks her hair and then laughs > what the fuck? > "Cool. I'm having problems opening a file...can you open it for me hun?" > sigh > "Yeah sure..." > we walk into her office she's being all flirty > click on the sharepoint link of a pdf file > won't open > download adobe reader > while it's loading I ask her what she's planning on doing on the weekend > "I'm going to the mountains with this guy for our first getaway" > stop adobe reader at 80% > walk right out > I am IT 
day 41
 > this hot yoga girl from events comes into my office > her keyboard keeps typing in french > too busy playing Happy bird to care > "so are you going to help me?" > "if things slow down. I've been swamped today" > "I'm going to fucking kill you" > she waggles her glorious yoga butt away > cute girl, and don't even care anymore just want day to fucking end > I hate this fucking job > all I do is get yelled at and download adobe reader > I cant even find the joy in games any more > Dad walks by > sees I'm looking blue > Dad takes me out for lunch > pats me on the shoulder > "I'm so proud of you son." > to date the company is in fucking shambles > and I still am primarily an adobe reader downloader > but I wouldn't change any of it for his very next words > "I love you son." Thanks guys and thanks Dad for the job. :) Don't forget to download your adobe readers guys. 
I didn't make this, I converted it to text from the imgur images and am working on correcting it occasionally.
submitted by that1communist to funny [link] [comments]

The Venom of God

So many thoughts come, in my hunger to record the shape of that which ails me.
Memories, imprinted like typewriter keys on the wet, spongy mass of the brain, feel transient, like ancient scrolls or commandments inscribed on crumbling slate, eroded by desert winds in unfathomably ancient ages. The memories of a man, fragmented in time - wet with horror and delusion.
For some reason, softer memories of childhood rise to the surface sometimes, like leaves in a dirty backyard pool, only to become too raw and shamefully unclothed when exposed to the sunlight of a middle aged man’s temperament.
I remember games of Checkers with my great Grandfather, Ildor Hearst, who appears in my mind’s eye as a-kind-of Russian Santa Claus, wirey beard and carven forehead. He was a stern man, and would always be ranting his archaic religious views. Prostheletising the fall of modern Babylon and the age of the Nihilist.
He would play Checkers with me, sharp movements, wooden circles slammed down with impunity. He never let me win. Saw his dominance as a matter of instruction and learning. As I look back nostalgically, sometimes, I yearn for Great Grandfather Ildor’s black and white mentality of good and evil, lightness and darkness... and an over arching confidence in the eventual triumph of mankind. Rather than the bleak reality of the post modernist distopia in which I live.
I recall vividly, after those intense games, once Ildor had imparted his thorny wisdom, I would be granted relaxation and be free to play with my own toys, scattered around my grandparents wooden floor boards; Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers, Wonder Woman, Spider Man and He-Man. Mine was always a multicoloured world of complex morality and democratic voices ... all of which ran into muddy paradigms that seemed totally outside the circle of Great Grandad’s moral compass.
These days, as a real estate Agent, I am occasionally gifted limited insights into a checkerboard like world of manipulation and sinister intentions, but mine is to perceive the evil of global finance, and the general unfairness of land ownership and rabid, unchecked capitalism...but with no delusion of an interventionalist God to pull us out of the hole we humans have dug for ourselves.
My name is Vilson Hearst, and I am a Real Estate Agent for Steel City Real Estate in Hexton, Australia.
Perhaps you think yourself free from the real estate game. Perhaps, you are a fool.
Perhaps you are satisfied with your lot in life, making a simple way for yourself, with a mortgage and a family, (if you should be so lucky to afford to get into the housing market at all that is). Then, could be that you are living a student lifestyle, paying rent, constantly paying off another cunning man’s mortgage, or worse still, perhaps you have abandoned the fight, to cower in your parents basement, with the real world slowly closing in on you, as you desperately try to escape into a world of Hollywood movies, video games or creepy pasta.
You are all in the real estate game, wether you like it or not. There is a broader game of capital and estate, which is increasingly complex, and even those like myself who’s job it is to ‘follow the money’ sometimes are completely lost at sea in the Darwinian struggle of the global free market.
Studying finance at Bourkeley University,.. I did my PHD thesis about money and the aquisition of power. I spent a solid year, studying the major players in global banking, watched the Chinese ICBC rise to become the wealthiest banking institution in the world. I tracked the strange and secretive trails of the richest investors, after the terrorist attacks on September 11, watching money transfer around the globe in secret trust funds, private meetings of powerful elites in Shanghai—as the Chinese World Trade Centre “Tower Three” was built, in the image of the destroyed Twin Towers of New York, (which is no coincidence, given it was constructed by the same architecture group; Skidmore Owings and Merril, (who also constructed the replacement One World Trade Centre.))
I studied Wikileaks and other whistleblower organisations. Gained secret documents, and learned of meetings between wealthy individuals; John Fallon, the chief executive of Pearson Education, the company which controls half the worlds schooling institutions— made a private deal in 2015 with Indra Nooyi and Paul Bulcke, Chairman and CEO of Nestle and PepsiCo, the owners of the majority of global food and confectionary. You wonder why our children are so desperately obese.
I was constantly surprised by the familiarity of these billionaires with one another. For instance, you might not know, that Hugh Grant, the CEO of Monsanto, the sinister company who has come to dominate a stronghold on global agriculture, (and who, among more nefarious acts, was responsible for manufacturing the deadly ‘Agent Orange’ poison in Vietnam and causing countless generational mutations).. just happens to be close friends with the CEO of Lockheed Martin, the dominant power in weapons manufacturing and ultimately what people mean when they talk about the ‘military industrial complex’.
Guns don’t kill people. Corporations do. But you knew that already.
Other minutes from meetings by the powerful, would have many questioning what the leaders of certain organisations could possibly have to discuss with each other,... such is the nature of the unheard of D40 meeting in a chateau in Shandong Province; where Barry Lam, chairman and founder of Quanta computers, the name behind the majority of computing technology, was recently in discussion with Carlos Brito, the CEO of InBev; the name behind all the major alcohol players—Ian Read, the CEO of Pfizer, who basically controls the entire legal drug market, Mark Zuckerberg and the CEO Of Alphabet Inc— who own Google and most of the rest of the internet. Now these meetings bare direct relationships with the stock trading happening in the World Trade Centre Tower Three in China. The minutes from these meetings contained discussion both controversial and amazingly nuanced, and the complexity of the global solutions some of these key players in the tech revolution were coming up with would’ve gone over the heads of even the top IQ holders from 98 percent of high schools in the world. Nonetheless, some of the darker plans by these shady monopolies would terrify you, more than you could possibly know.
To understand Australian land ownership, the problem becomes more of a global puzzle.
The figures who own the most land globally, are, the King of Saudi Arabia, The Pope and the Catholic Church, Hugh Grosvenor, Duke of Westminster certainly has a cut, and of course, the Queen of Britain herself, Elizabeth ...(who currently owns about a sixth of the worlds land, some 6.6 Billion Acres, more commonly known as the Commonwealth Realm, (which includes two thirds of Antarctica, Time Square in New York, Canada, New Zealand and of course ... Australia.) These people, i’ve learned, are not particularly interested in the debate around land ownership coming to the forefront of the global conversation, and billionaire media moguls like Rupert Murdoch and Andrew Packer have filled their bank accounts, making it their mission to keep just such subjects off the family dinner table, with distractions like ‘My Kitchen Rules’ and ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ filling Australian television channels.
The question of wether anyone owns land in Australia, or if it is in fact all owned by the Queen of England, is a contentious one, particularly when you factor in the confounding elements such as the status of Norfolk Island, which at one time was, on a technicality, not owned by anyone except for the fictitious body ‘The Crown’ (until being taken over by the Australian Capital Territory, in 2015). Then when you consider the original claim of the British that the Australian nation was unoccupied or ‘Terra Nullius’ when Europeans arrived, a truth widely held as fact until the precedent of the Mabo Decision in the Torres Straight islands in 1992. This decision returned some land ownership rights back to certain aristocratic lineages of the native people. However, the paradox leaves a complex and enduring problem for the future of land ownership in Australia and what that exactly entails.
In Hexton, the most rapidly developing city in Australia, corporate billionaires have their stakes in national land ownership, yet meanwhile... National Parks, Botanical Gardens and other public spaces are unapologetically ‘Crown lands’, a fact which is still testified by the names of the spaces; Kings Domain, Queen’s Square, and other titles which clearly and proudly display the heritage of monarchic ownership deeply entrenched within the Australian property market.
Of course, even within the field of Australian National Real Estate, the individual estate agent becomes bogged down even further in matters of local estates, so that these important issues take second stake to the sales and acquisitions of the day.
Steel City Real Estate, the company I work for, is a nation wide brand, but our particular office in Albert Park consists of about nine agents.
I spend most of my time competing with the golden boy of Steel City, Greg Leisdadt. Greg has consistently won the monthly sales targets in our office for over a year. His desk is covered in trophies, awards, and framed certificates adorn the walls behind him.
I’m not sure what words could aptly describe Leisdadt; his wolf-like eyes, both evil and mesmerising. A cannibal grin consisting of Colgate super white teeth, and those gelled locks of amber hair which hang impossibly, like an arch villain over his forehead. Greg oozes saleable confidence which grates my own nervous disposition sufficiently towards constant despair.
The only force which makes the constantly eclipsing day to day victories of Leisdadt bearable to me is Natasha Valuvjdavo. She is the agent who sits on the adjacent table to me in the office.
I confess, for some time, I was profoundly attracted to Natasha, and had to stop myself from gushing and fawning over her. She is a demure, and assertive brunette, her crimson lips could kill a boat full of sailors. Unfortunately, she is engaged to a man named Fred, who is something of a wet blanket, yet I must discard my jealousy and confess that for whatever reason, Natasha seems happy in her domestic life. My only solace in this, being that Greg Leisdadt, the man who has everything, although persistently flirtatious, has never made a dent in Natasha’s self security. She is thankfully not attracted to him.
But now I should refrain from being sidetracked and talk about the subjects which, you, the reader, more likely desire to hear of. For my tale is no idle blathering of romantic ennui, or global conspiracy—but rather the trauma of my profession, does persist— in both being exposed to the ruthless game of money/power, but moreover being haunted by knowledges both gothic and Victorian. For there is no other game in town, where one is more exposed to unwanted or haunted real estate; the devil hounded, and the wished forgotten.
There are the houses that are impossible to sell, because of brutal or public bloody murders that have occurred to the prior occupants. Wether psychological or other, the frequency of those who purchase such forbidden and damned abodes —then in no matter of time, flee and sell at carelessly lower settlement costs, with tales of unhallowed things returned to life, or clanking noises in the basement...why... this simple fact of the real estate market is as common as there is. A story as old as time.
Now perhaps I could spend months repeating the folk lore surrounding that dilapidated and spiritually unsaveable address; that run down, trash infested garden, and collapsing terrace roof of no 13 MacArthur Street.
But this could take a conceivably longer time period, and I shall reserve my energy for the most disturbing and horrific of these preternatural experiences.
Though I should briefly mention Vernon tower, for though this wasn’t the property which near drove me to insanity, it factors too far into the disturbing tapestry of the veiled or hidden real estate scene.
Now, Vernon tower, is an enormous building in South Hexton. Our agency deals more with rentals than with sales of the apartments in that old, and curious piece of architecture. Built as early as 1866, there has always been something profoundly wrong with Vernon towers. Of course, it is me who has to deal with most of the tennants of that foreboding block, for it is the Hearst legacy to be fated just such dull luck.
Thus it is always, I, who takes the phone calls from disgruntled students and drug addicts; Vernon Tower is unprecedentedly cheap, due to its history. Yet the impoverished clientele still have no issue burning my ear off; to complain of strange mechanic noises, or those bizarre phosphorescent green lights. Then there was the girl who tried to sue us, after her seizure from what she claimed to see inside the laundry room. That manner of description I can scarce repeat for its absurdness and high strangeness.
But let me get to the more dreadful incident which frightens me even to recall.
Indeed, it had all begun with that infernal property in Elwood, which I was in terse competition to sell... pitted unwittingly against the undefeated Super-Agent, Greg Leisdadt.
The spectacularly immense mansion on Ormond Road, was once occupied by billionaire Serbian entrapaneur Dimitrije Stojanovic, who I’m told partially drafted the architectural plans for the immense mansion himself, before he had it constructed on the corner of Ormond and Radkin Streets. The nature of the oddities surrounding that place however, extend not from the architectural style of the lot itself, (mind you those odd modernist geometric pylons, stepped piers and sail-like rooves do lend a kind of funereal gothicness to the address.)
However, it was the murder of Stojanovic which caused true fluctuations of interest in the property. Given the public knowledge of the horrendous murder, the property value was incalculably lower than its market worth. It seemed the image of the alleged burglar breaking into Stojanovic’s window, and bludgeoning him to death in the lounge room with a heavy trophy or statue of some kind— somehow grinding his skin off as with multiple teeth, or a spiked club—stayed in the public mind, thanks to Channel 9’s ‘A Current Affair’ and their sensational program about the incident. For interest in the property remained uncharacteristically low. Perhaps the fact that the murderer has yet to be identified or captured by police, nor the murder weapon found, hasn’t helped the matter.
Now, as I have mentioned this was not the first time our staff had dressed up a ‘murder property’. But the truly disturbing elements began to happen during the time the property came under my tenure.
Now, I should proclaim sincerely that I am by no means a superstitious man, I admonish my readers to believe that I was just as skeptical about the soon to be foretold events as you, had I not experienced them myself, I should fiercely doubt my own sanity. I should also divulge a little more information about Dimitrije Stojanovic himself, (the owner of the grand mansion) as the web of intrigue very much seems to hinge on his professional history.
Stojanovic made his billions in Silicon Valley, working in many aspects of the tech industry, investing timely in companies like Facebook and crypto currencies like Bitcoin, when the time was right. in the move to Australia it seems that his ambition was to try out his own company idea in the developing market of Hexton, where the game was not already dominated and over exposed.
With this intent he came out, built his immense mansion in Elwood, Moonsmoth, and immediately started channeling his money into the development of something called .....‘DigiTown’.
Now being neither a tech expert myself, nor expecting such of my audience, I will explain the fundamentals of the ‘DigiTown’ concept in the same manner it was explained to me by Neil Druton, a four eyed nerd with an immense forehead who was one of the developers working for Dimitrije Stojanovic, before he died. I had decided to interview Druton, to get the background on the Stojanovic case to find a more positive angle for investors. I figured if I could distract the buyer from the details of the murder, and big talk the profile of Stojanovic himself, “the prolific entrapaneur”, this might flatter the egos of other wealthy entrapaneurs to buy it out.
Druton told me he had been working for Stojanovic for about six months, mostly at the office Space Dimitrije was renting in Southbank. He described Stojanovic as ruthless, and borderline insane, but nonetheless he spoke of ‘DigiTown’ with respect, a ‘unique’ and ‘brilliant’ project, which would have been at the forefront of the tech industry, if it had ever been finished.
Put in layman’s terms, Druton explained that the project had a great deal in common with Bill Gates plans for a ‘smart city’ but on a more achievable scale.
I could tell Druton was oversimplifying the description for my sake, no doubt parroting Dimitrije’s marketing pitches for investors. But he described it like this; ‘Imagine a kind of augmented portal, with a built infrastructure and virtual architecture planned by white collar professionals, a crypto currency run communal space, overlayed over a modern city space, where your own request portal is linked to different reference cubes; Town Square, Library Cube, Media Station, Entertainment Centre, Eateries, telematics and roads authority, and these all function via the same channels as an actual city.’ ‘So you mean, instead of one social media interface trying to network everything, the actual infrastructure of a city is built out within the media itself?’ I asked. ‘Yeah pretty much’ Druton replied, seeing I had sensed the practical nature, adaptability, and profitability of the software, all over the world. ‘ATMs, shops, business, smart cars and machinery— all worked into the same dual augmented system. Superimposed as a direct collorary.’ It got me thinking paranoid, and I asked Druton earnestly; ‘Do you think if another rogue in the tech industry knew about Stojanovic’s idea, it would have been a groundbreaking idea enough to have killed him over?’ Druton went silent, and sweated a little from his pimpled forehead. I didn’t need to hear him answer the question, it was written all over his shrivelled face.
I spent a good couple of months doing my research on Dimitrije’s mansion. (I would’ve loved to cover up the existence of the current owner of the mansion). Rich heiress Stacey White bought the house, and lived in it for a month before she got spooked— and decided to resell it. I made sure to get the story straight, offering Stacey a hot cup of Bush tea, and asking her precisely what she saw.
Here’s what she told me; ‘I was alone, in that creepy mansion, at night,... and I got a weird feeling. There was a strong wind, and it was dark. The gum tree in the front yard bends a lot in the wind, and sometimes the branches whip against the side of the house. I was just getting used to that noise, but this time it was something different, almost lost in the whistling wind. It was a lower kind of ...moaning. A deep, pained groan. I got up to check I hadn’t left something on in the kitchen. I went to turn on the light switch but the globe burnt out. That’s when it happened. Almost like a mini-earthquake, but there was this strange energy. Then the gas stove just lit up, a green flame. It wasn’t on, but the kitchen was illuminated in a kind of underwater hue. Then—-(Stacey began to gasp and sob)—-then... in the darkness — I saw it!! A green head! Half a Human head, but mangled, half the skull bashed in, shimmering like I was looking through glass. It spoke to me a voice that made the room cold. Just—-(she broke down into tears, suppressing a scream). H—his lips... cold, green lips. Steam coming from his mouth. He said — he said—- ‘Beware the Wagluh’.
As this point she became incommunicable.
I felt an increasing sickness in the ensuing weeks, the cause was unknown, but chiefly matched my mental state. It must’ve been around this time when I first saw the strange rune which had been spray painted on the abandoned building in Elwood. I was doing my rounds, why I should’ve noticed the strange glyph remains beyond my understanding, yet there it was. A curious, green shape, interrupted by a stark arrow and a kind-of ladder shape above it.
I was becoming increasingly stressed and agitated by the competitive sale of Dimitrije’s mansion. My manager Herron Del Ray had been hounding me to make a sale, it had been months since I had successfully got a down payment from a client. Del Ray had threatened redundancy in no uncertain terms, and the stress was beginning to erode my total mental well being.
In conversations with my beautiful colleague Natasha around this time, I found her to be kind, but not particularly helpful. Her advice was that if I was going to beat Leisdadt, I would have to compete with him at his own game. She told me on one particular occasion I should just lie to clients about the gruesome murder in the house, or omit it from the description altogether. This was both against my moral compass, and senseless, for the case was so popular, I felt sure that any potential investor would know of it, to omit it would only anger them.
That same day I got a call from a potential buyer named Greame De Montague. Leisdadt watched me like a hawk as I took the call, giving me a cunning look. The stare flustered my nerves, but choking through the phone I agreed for an inspection with De Montague. He would be the fifth buyer I had spoken to, all four previous investors had abandoned their inquiries when learning more about the murder, or after having seen the contract of sale.
I calmed myself the day of the appointment by speaking soft mantras to myself under my breath. I knew I had to push this client to a final purchase, and my job security depended on it. Greg Leisdadt was leaning against the bronze statue of a Cheetah in our office as I was leaving, mocking me with the words ‘Good luck, Vilson old boy.’
It was a cold autumn day, and brown leaves blew around the streets in gusts of curdled wind.
I had arranged to meet Mr De Montague on Beach Avenue, so that we might walk down to Ormond Street and view the mansion. As an eerie coincidence the corner we agreed to meet was precisely at the point that odd rune was sprayed on the abandoned building in Elwood.
Greame De Montague was standing on the corner as I arrived in my light grey sedan. He was standing in front of the odd rune, as though the symbol itself had somehow marked his presence in an unexplainable yet mystical time stamp. I couldn’t see his car parked anywhere. He was wearing a very curious oufit, particularly for Australia, although the weather was reasonably cool that autumn day. He wore a kind of black velvet robe, cut in the shape ...not unlike an Orthodox Jew’s regalia. It tarried at the bottom into a sort of deep purple cape. On his head he wore a buckled Capotain, and in his hand, a decorated staff. I wondered if his clothing indicated the excesses of vanity of the social media age, or if he was perhaps a foreign prince of some kind.
I stepped out of the car, and approached De Montague with my hand extended. I could see now he had a strange face, with slanted owl-like eyebrows, and a fluffy round beard that gave him an almost koala-bear-shaped head.
Mr De Montague raised his hand and met my embrace, shaking my hand with a firm clasp. ‘It’s lovely to meet you Greame. I have a feeling you are going to love this property.’ ‘Please. Call me Lord De Montague.’ The stern man insisted, ‘I descend from Carpathian royalty, the son of a Duke.’ ‘Very well M’lord.’ I replied, my tone accidentally tinged with irony, ‘Have you come ...very far today?’ I asked trying to distract from my faux pas with a bluff of small talk. I couldn’t help staring at the strange Necklace around De Montague’s neck. It seemed to be made of solid gold, and was comprised of a chain of large charms, each coin depicting deities from Ancient Asian and Mesopotamian religions.
I began walking, unsure what to say but deciding to lead De Montague down towards Ormond Street. There was a terrifying stillness on the street that day. The sun dried grass seemed frozen in time, and the grey sky moaned geriatrically, with the energy of a tired giant trying to fend off the vast abyss of Space.
I noticed that De Montague was not moving, but had instead stopped firmly in his tracks. His face gave off a distinct lack of pathos.
‘Mr Hearst.’ Lord De Montague’s grainy voice echoed; ‘This is the wrong way.’ I turned and looked back at him confused, but De Montague quickly supplanted my curiosity ‘We should walk down Vautier Street. It comes out closer to the property on Ormond.’ By my own calculations, the distance was exactly the same, but as I was in a desperate state of flattery, I decided to humour the strange, old man, though I now questioned wether my client might be an eccentric madman, who merely thought he was born of Royalty, in his delusions.
Nonetheless, I followed De Montague and we wandered down the leafy, terraced streets.
‘Tell me something Mr Hearst’ De Montague began to speculate; ‘Have you ever heard the expression ‘Old Money’?’ I looked at him trying to gage his meaning; ‘Yes, of course.’ I replied. ‘The man who owned this mansion’, De Montague continued in a practiced refrain; ‘It is my understanding he was one of the new breed. Wouldn’t you say? Those who make their fortunes on the gamble— or the changing technologies of the world, but haven’t yet come to fully comprehend the system as it works. As it has always worked.’ ‘I’m afraid I haven’t come to fully appreciate your meaning.’ I replied with honest perplexion. ‘My ancestors were very interested in Asian spirituality’ De Montague continued in a seemingly distracted soliloquy, ‘The De Montagues have migrated for some time you see. Sharing something in common with the Romani people of Europe. I have had ancestors who have lived, over the centuries, in Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Mongolia, Papua New Guinea and the Phillipines. Do you know what is the one thing these vastly different cultures all have in common?’ ‘I do not’ I confessed. ‘Reverence for ones ancestors, and respect for ones elders, and an overwhelming policy of acceptance towards the natural systems that have always existed.’ ‘That’s very interesting’ I replied, gawking about anxiously and wondering where the conversation was leading. ‘I have only more recently come to adapt the principles of the Japanese Shinto religion into my philosophy Mr Hearst. However I think we could all take a page out of that discipline, and it’s superior attitude towards the unknown. You know, in some sense the Shinto practitioners had an almost scientific approach to their spirituality. Certainly, like with the Eastern superstitions, the Shinto perceived a longing towards extra sensory insights into a hidden or secret world supposed to lie beneath the surface of our material life. However, we can say that the Shinto practitioners never got into the awkward and complex dogma of hierarchical worship. Rather, they merely approached each of their animistic inhabitations of spirit that they encountered with the proper fear and respect that one should properly apply to creatures or Gods we fail to yet understand.’ ‘It’s an interesting religion.’ I said, still utterly confused as to what the eccentric prince was attempting to convey.
‘I see you’ve mistaken my warning.’ De Montage continued in a more stern and serious tone, as we passed rows of trimmed hedges and decorative fences. ‘It is right to fear that which we don’t understand Master Hearst. We ought to treat our material supervisors with more respect. Now, I confess, it has never been the object of my ancestors to worship the unseen. Only a fool wishes to make a slave of themselves to a devil they don’t know. But respect, awe, fear, that is different. That is the core of wisdom. Now.... I confess to you... My own aristocratic ancestors, have had more of a vested interest in acquiring artefacts and precious minerals that can absorb such unknown energies. To tap into the mechanisms of nature and the outer spheres of unseen chemistry, that is where one can find the tools to bring about the acquisition of power!’ I began to become totally speechless, realising now, that I was in the presence of a lunatic. We were still about five minutes from the Serbian’s property, and De Montague now began to rave in such a strange and sinister manner, that he appeared some demented imp, his lecture was so insane. ‘So it was for the ones who claimed the future. Those beings with silken robes of silver, who sought the forbidden wisdom from beyond the abysses of Space and time. They are like the watcher, and we are but the conduits to their ancient digital powers. Yet if you could perceive the outlines of the Shapeshifter, who is the lost among us all, and he who brings the bitterness from the original tragedy. Then, perhaps you could understand what the Hindu’s really worship, in the form of their metamorphosising God of many evolutionary attributes.’ Mr De Montague suddenly stopped, slamming the steel cap of his staff upon the cracked concrete, and turned to me; ‘Mr Hearst, this is my warning for you! You cannot outwit the darker destinies of the force that itself conjures black holes. Have due reverence for the unseen beast which lurks beneath, and threatens your soul with eternal mutilation. Stand down from that property, and abandon your research into the disappearance of that accursed Serbian. I send this warning as a friend, and wether or not you take it up, I tell you that your colleague Greg will still make the sale, whichever path you choose.’ De Montague suddenly scowled like a rabid dog, grabbing my hand and thrusting the handle of his cane upon my palm. ‘Cursed child— I have the power of the Chiromancer, and that which is engraved upon your line of fate, makes it clear. But there is still time to evade the mark of this warning.’ Suddenly, I shrieked, for my palm began stinging with pain, and I realised that the silver etched handle of the staff was unfathomable degrees hot. I pulled my hand away before the impression became irreversible; ‘Ouch, you burnt my hand!’ I cried.
De Montague then seemed satisfied that his message had been delivered. He immediately hoisted back his staff, then let out a sound almost like a wolf’s growl. Then he seemed to perform a magicians trick of some form. For he cast the staff down at my feet, but as it fell there, a glimmer of light played a trick on me. I stepped back in fear, for that which lay across my feet, was no longer that of carven wood, but a coiled brown snake, who raised itself and hissed through fangs, and quivering forked tongue. I turned and dashed out of the snakes attack perimeter.
I gazed down at my stinging palm, to see with terror and trepidation that the burn mark in my hand imprinted from the image on the cane— it was the same strange glyph that was painted on the house.
Panting and sweating, tripping over my clumsy feet, as I rotated again to survey the scene, I saw now with incredulity the brown snake remained upon the pavement, but De Montague himself was long gone.
The hoax plagued me for hours afterward, I had been pranked it seemed, by some rich and bored eccentric trickster, who never intended to view the property at all. Or he was an escaped lunatic from Bourkeley Asylum perhaps. As I was already in the area, after a sufficient down time, when my heartbeat had reduced and my manic paranoia dissipated —I resolved to continue to Ormond Street anyway.
When I got to the property my fading anger was rebuked, for I saw two cars parked outside the late Serbian’s mansion. ‘Leisdadt’ I cursed.
As I walked up the modern staircase, I saw a cheerful looking man m, wearing a scarf, leaving, who Greg had obviously just shown around the property. He seemed fearfully optimistic about the place, and I continued cursing under my breath until I reached the hallway where Greg was standing, smugly, with a clipboard. He seemed even more satisfied when I came to the door; ‘You better watch out for that one’ Greg said in a tone that sent me into a rage; ‘He seems very keen. What happened to your 4’oclock?’ ‘Someone pulled a prank on me’ I cursed. I began to wonder if Greg had organised the incident with the charlatan somehow. Leisdadt tried hard to refrain from breaking out into a grin, ‘That’s a shame. Your luck has to come up one day Hearst.’ Leisdadt chuckled, but then seemed to remember something— ‘I thought you signed off on the clearance papers anyway Hearst.’ He said, ‘After Stacey White complained about the dead guy’s stuff still laying around, I thought you had the house completely emptied.’ ‘What of it?’ I asked. Greg leaned over to the ornately decorated mantle piece, pulling open the dresser drawer below the mirror and revealing a stack of haphazard papers and letters. ‘Can you take care of these?’ He insisted coldly, ‘I’ve got a last minute potential sale of that impossible property, 13 MacArthur Street. Can you believe my luck? We haven’t had a buyer for that place in years.’ I scowled into my neck as Leisdadt left via the rear entrance of the mansion. Grumbling and moving towards the papers, I cursed myself for so easily being persuaded to do what Greg could’ve done himself.
I mumbled, calling myself a sucker under my breath as I leafed through the papers.
Then, I turned over something which captured my interest. It was a sleek black diary, and as I turned the pages I came to realise that it had evidently belonged to Dimitrije. I flicked through the musty pages, seeing that the entries of the private journal dated up until the Serbian’s disappearance. I began to read with fascination and morose intrigue;
Here is the transcript of the more interesting parts of Dimitrije's diary:
Dimitrije Stojanovic died on the 13th of October, 2016.
The strange diary had a terrible effect on me. I became deeply paranoid that I was wedged within a catastrophic and deep conspiracy. Though I couldn’t fully understand the map laid out by the corners of my discoveries, there was enough of a pattern that I knew there was some terrible logic beneath it all.
I found the references to Vernon Towers and the architect ‘Von Marrickville’ extremely intriguing and began to further my own research on the property which was already familiar to me. I had always known that Vernon Towers was an old heritage building. But I had never researched the buildings actual construction. So it was, that I found out more about the strange creator, borrowing a book about the eccentric architect Veda Von Marrickville from Hexton library.
The book was fascinating. Von Marrickville, it turned out was a fairly prolific architect of the day, who was commissioned to build a series of buildings around Hexton city. Of particular interest to me, where the four or five buildings Von Marrickville built in a kind of arc around Port Phillip Bay, pointing towards Valsbury docks. Von Marrickville was a Dutch native who came out to Australia in 1834, one of the key buildings on the Port Phillip Bay side of Hexton was Vernon Towers, which I read to my astonishment was funded by a wealthy nobleman named Aaron De Montague. I couldn’t find out much about the De Montague family or their history in Australia, but I was beginning to think it must have been the same family as the De Montague whom I had met. Von Marrickville describe Vernon Towers as an ‘occult conduit’ and layered it with engraved symbology. He suffered a tragic fate, and wound up raving as an inmate in Bourkeley Asylum.
Since reading the diary, I have begun to experience strange anomaly. I visited Vernon towers myself, looking for a particular architectural feature. To my surprise and terror I saw one of the green glyphs mentioned by Dimitrije.
I tried to track down De Montage, however have not seen him since that odd encounter. Searching for families of that name, the only people I could come across in Hexton was a family living in Brunswick. When I went to visit I found them to be a strange family of Indonesians who incidentally suffered from an unusual diverse range of diseases. The youngest daughter suffered autism, whilst her brother was an extreme Down syndrome case, and the mother herself had mental health issues. I concluded that these De Montagues probably bore no relation to the man I had met, if indeed he hadn’t lied about his name.
Then there was the day I found that bizarre egg. It was about the size of a milk carton, all speckled and grey, but it was broken in half, as though it had hatched. Yet I was positive no animal could have produced the egg, and could only assume that it was a student art project or installation of some kind. In any case, it seemed unrelated to the other strange occurrences.
I feel as though my sanity has completely abandoned me, torn more and more towards the point of collapse. Leisdadt has sold the Serbian’s property, and I haven’t been to work for a week, for fear of the consequences with my boss.
But worse, I’ve started to smell a.... to sense something. Something that I recognise from Dimitrije’s descriptions in his diary. How is it possible to sense the form of something that you have never seen. To know it sometime. To dream of a shrieking thing that soars through a red sky.
That mosquito like head. Immense lizard like body, bone and ribs, like a sharks egg. Black leather wings.
There was a brown parcel that arrived in the mail. The statue inside matches the description given by Dimitrije. It’s so hideously disfigured. Does it represent the swimming demon in my dreams?
I examined the edges closely, and the inscription which seems to be flecked with blood. Could it be the murder weapon they used to bludgeon the Serbian? What of his shredded corpse, what tore his body apart? As I sit, hailed up in my lounge room trying to distract my mind with escapist television, and recording this journal on my IPad. I fear something unfathomable which seeks my destruction.
I can hear noises, am I hallucinating?
Dear God! That banging outside the house.
submitted by GoityePowerhouse to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]

Need help determining what a potentially malicious app is doing in the background!

Hey /applehelp Hope this is the right place to ask this. If not, I apologize!
I work in education as the network guy and yesterday began seeing hits to (a bitcoin "trading platform"). I have since determined that there are two things in common with the devices talking to this website: They're iPads, and they all have a particular app installed (just got popular yesterday.)
I've got a copy of the app installed on an iPad (not jailbroken due to policy) and have also got the 'installer' file extracted from iTunes.
Is there any way to determine why this app is talking to My suspicion is that it's mining in the background, though no mention of this is on the app page or google. Unfortunately I'm not a reverse engineer so am a little out of my depth here but would like to find out what's going on! If my question would be better posted in more security-oriented subreddit, anyone know one that'd help?
I'd prefer to not give the name of the app right now as I have no proof. Don't want to raise any false alarms...
submitted by edutechie to applehelp [link] [comments]

Subreddit Stats: beermoney posts from 2017-12-31 to 2018-01-30 14:37 PDT

Period: 29.72 days
Submissions Comments
Total 226 4844
Rate (per day) 7.60 157.81
Unique Redditors 197 1692
Combined Score 7093 13870

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

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    3. Another Great UserTesting Screener (4 points, 13 comments)
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    1. How much have you made in 2017? (49 points, 83 comments)
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    1. if you solved captcha for Raiblocks and forgot about them.. (49 points, 12 comments)
  39. 49 points, 1 submission: summit122
    1. Do not use (49 points, 49 comments)
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    1. Are there any passive (e.g. continuous video watching) that play nice with an emulator like Nox, so it can simply be run on a PC? (47 points, 14 comments)
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  57. 27 points, 1 submission: arise_chckn
    1. Screwed over by Branded Surveys (27 points, 17 comments)
  58. 26 points, 2 submissions: srach
    1. Free food from territoryfoods through Jan 18 (certain areas only) (25 points, 25 comments)
    2. Beermoney and taxes (1 point, 28 comments)
  59. 26 points, 1 submission: anonymouss3221
    1. Survey site allowing you control over what surveys you get? (26 points, 18 comments)
  60. 25 points, 1 submission: eriffodrol
    1. pizza hut super bowl giveaway 2-4 (25 points, 14 comments)
  61. 24 points, 1 submission: Im_BrokeForever
    1. [Canada only] Loblaws is offering $25 GC to anyone who has bought bread products from them from 2002 to 2015. (24 points, 5 comments)
  62. 22 points, 2 submissions: GrindabuckOfficial
    1. New Crypto Rewards: Grindabuck just added Litecoin, Ethereum and Bitcoin Cash! (22 points, 48 comments)
    2. Grindabuck Week is now live for the month of January! (0 points, 3 comments)
  63. 22 points, 1 submission: Blackout797
    1. PSA: Third batch of $5 Amazon Gift Cards from the Bestow referral program rolling out! Check your emails. (22 points, 10 comments)
  64. 22 points, 1 submission: MeatBrick64
    1. PayPal users check your email - 10-15 minute survey paid out in a $5 Starbucks gift card (22 points, 15 comments)
  65. 22 points, 1 submission: Sk8rToon
    1. Now that mPoints is officially dead, is there a good replacement? (22 points, 9 comments)
  66. 21 points, 3 submissions: TheWriter_21
    1. Surveys/Studies/Sites (16 points, 7 comments)
    2. Where can I find craigslist studies that pay a lot? (5 points, 29 comments)
    3. Survey sites like qualtrics (0 points, 13 comments)
  67. 21 points, 1 submission: SimpleMinded101
    1. Check out Vid.Social, it remonetizes FB or YT videos.. All you do is share and earn. Link inside.. (21 points, 12 comments)
  68. 20 points, 1 submission: Buxom_And_TheBalm
    1. Difficulty redeeming gifthulk giftcard (20 points, 2 comments)
  69. 20 points, 1 submission: Preparation_H_
    1. Passive income for Canadians! :/ (20 points, 12 comments)
  70. 20 points, 1 submission: imadeanewone1234
    1. What are the best iOS apps for surveys? (20 points, 16 comments)
  71. 20 points, 1 submission: thotimusprime69
    1. iPhone Flipping? (20 points, 25 comments)
  72. 19 points, 1 submission: SteeIy
    1. MS Rewards 12 months of Xbox Live now costs only 20,300! Get it while it's hot!!! (19 points, 10 comments)
  73. 19 points, 1 submission: pinoypayter
    1. Live Trivia Apps that pay! - HQ & other alternatives (19 points, 26 comments)
  74. 19 points, 1 submission: wbhyatt
    1. Just discovered PrizeRebel. Is it worth it? (19 points, 41 comments)
  75. 18 points, 2 submissions: chrisfuccione
    1. Insta GC down for maintenance from 1/14 10pm to 1/15 8am (9 points, 24 comments)
    2. Question on Prolific's new payout method. (9 points, 10 comments)
  76. 18 points, 1 submission: ChicagoGreenRiver
    1. Paid Market Research Study on Budget Traveling - Fieldwork Chicago (18 points, 5 comments)
  77. 18 points, 1 submission: ILaughAtFunnyShit
    1. Anyone else suddenly receive a ton of surveys through Google Opinion Rewards? (18 points, 27 comments)
  78. 18 points, 1 submission: Iwillpickonelater
    1. Teaching English Online (18 points, 17 comments)
  79. 18 points, 1 submission: asphx
    1. - rewards for guessing new trends/hypes (18 points, 11 comments)
  80. 18 points, 1 submission: brownlegend
    1. Canadian apps (18 points, 11 comments)
  81. 17 points, 1 submission: Jana123FJ
    1. Phone farming (17 points, 13 comments)
  82. 17 points, 1 submission: WritingPromptsAccy
    1. Do you guys know of any t-shirt designing/sale sites that allow for a full range printing? (17 points, 4 comments)
  83. 17 points, 1 submission: morecrazythanyou
    1. Any alternative for Crowdtap (17 points, 5 comments)
  84. 17 points, 1 submission: redawl
    1. Tips for using red bubble? (17 points, 25 comments)
  85. 16 points, 1 submission: Lemin86
    1. Best receipt scanning apps right now? (16 points, 27 comments)
  86. 16 points, 1 submission: djgameplay2k1
    1. New GPT site (Complete offers to earn points) (16 points, 65 comments)
  87. 16 points, 1 submission: harshgoyal1997
    1. Need Invitation from registered Crossmedia US Audience Beta Users (16 points, 43 comments)
  88. 16 points, 1 submission: svxvh
    1. Where to find tutoring and editing gigs? (16 points, 13 comments)
  89. 15 points, 1 submission: learingthree
    1. Websites that give a Daily Login Bonus? (2018) (15 points, 42 comments)
  90. 14 points, 2 submissions: killapanda5280
    1. How to get phone to stay on (12 points, 11 comments)
    2. Optimizing FireFox or Chrome for KoinMe (2 points, 9 comments)
  91. 14 points, 1 submission: Mkap1
    1. Screenwise Select Panel question (14 points, 17 comments)
  92. 14 points, 1 submission: SAA025
    1. Progress bars in surveys (14 points, 3 comments)
  93. 14 points, 1 submission: kylekirknyc
    1. Now that is officially out of business, where can I make beer money reviewing iOS apps? (14 points, 8 comments)
  94. 13 points, 2 submissions: Crazybarb
    1. has anyone done the boxed deal through SB and seen a credit on Drop Yet? (9 points, 6 comments)
    2. Wondough?? (4 points, 3 comments)
  95. 13 points, 1 submission: Bruinsrock11
    1. Coke Rewards Amazon cards only for Christmas time? (13 points, 23 comments)
  96. 13 points, 1 submission: CryptoBobs
    1. Is perk dead? (13 points, 18 comments)
  97. 12 points, 2 submissions: DBcartera
    1. FREE Aelf Tokens (already on exchange and trading) (10 points, 55 comments)
    2. IOS airdrop and already on the market (2 points, 15 comments)
  98. 12 points, 1 submission: Hello661
    1. Lootpalace was hacked (12 points, 8 comments)
  99. 12 points, 1 submission: frugalfinances
    1. Gas Rebates - GetUpside Launching in Miami (12 points, 1 comment)
  100. 11 points, 1 submission: Moneyekim
    1. I have a TON of old receipts. Are there any websites that would pay me for them? Or are they too old? (11 points, 11 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. adriansoft (384 points, 25 comments)
  2. ProudOwl (315 points, 99 comments)
  3. nd130903 (291 points, 79 comments)
  4. themightyox (257 points, 33 comments)
  5. Enigmius1 (253 points, 82 comments)
  6. Justanothernolifer (226 points, 5 comments)
  7. EL_Tirano (176 points, 1 comment)
  8. alzee76 (169 points, 14 comments)
  9. timmymacapone (136 points, 27 comments)
  10. ed1380 (131 points, 4 comments)
  11. roads30 (126 points, 62 comments)
  12. Bzttid (112 points, 12 comments)
  13. Mikazah (110 points, 36 comments)
  14. cybermistt (103 points, 10 comments)
  15. Sub-Surge (102 points, 40 comments)
  16. elpeatonlf (95 points, 8 comments)
  17. CodeSpent (94 points, 19 comments)
  18. Nettleberry (89 points, 1 comment)
  19. Jimjongjung (87 points, 4 comments)
  20. broomlad (87 points, 4 comments)
  21. armyguyinpa (86 points, 22 comments)
  22. MidgardWyrm (86 points, 13 comments)
  23. JasonMckennan5425234 (82 points, 33 comments)
  24. thelaughingcactus (82 points, 12 comments)
  25. toxic08 (81 points, 3 comments)
  26. pete_the_mouse (79 points, 20 comments)
  27. komentra (77 points, 10 comments)
  28. jjharkan (74 points, 24 comments)
  29. Semen-Thrower (72 points, 22 comments)
  30. chickennuggetyummy (71 points, 10 comments)
  31. Threw_it_to_ground (70 points, 40 comments)
  32. FlippinWaffles (70 points, 3 comments)
  33. ChaosZeroX (69 points, 17 comments)
  34. ThedudeabidesWR (69 points, 11 comments)
  35. JacobDefinedCrowd (68 points, 50 comments)
  36. cancerofpassion (68 points, 8 comments)
  37. PureGold07 (67 points, 7 comments)
  38. StimulisRK (67 points, 3 comments)
  39. kevinstonge (66 points, 3 comments)
  40. cazaputas41 (63 points, 15 comments)
  41. sockpuppets (62 points, 1 comment)
  42. EricFarmer7 (60 points, 7 comments)
  43. MsLT (56 points, 13 comments)
  44. deadfire55 (55 points, 1 comment)
  45. oh-wtf (55 points, 1 comment)
  46. ktodd087 (52 points, 2 comments)
  47. JOJOawestruck (51 points, 26 comments)
  48. holmesksp (50 points, 2 comments)
  49. sfcitylights (50 points, 2 comments)
  50. solly93 (50 points, 1 comment)
  51. jump101 (47 points, 30 comments)
  52. zarraza2k (46 points, 21 comments)
  53. CanfieldOO7 (45 points, 34 comments)
  54. markmore679 (44 points, 5 comments)
  55. kanundrum1134 (43 points, 22 comments)
  56. GrindabuckOfficial (43 points, 14 comments)
  57. Auntie_B (43 points, 7 comments)
  58. Honkmaster (43 points, 4 comments)
  59. ZeroCoolFarmer (42 points, 13 comments)
  60. craftsntowers (42 points, 5 comments)
  61. r_sarvas (41 points, 23 comments)
  62. TBWolf (41 points, 4 comments)
  63. dondonchacha (40 points, 23 comments)
  64. SometimesIgorina (39 points, 25 comments)
  65. AnotherSupportMain (38 points, 17 comments)
  66. godfrauder (38 points, 1 comment)
  67. iAmAwesom3 (37 points, 4 comments)
  68. GreatCatch (37 points, 1 comment)
  69. yash1994 (35 points, 24 comments)
  70. Golden_Miner_Mod (35 points, 19 comments)
  71. Confirmatory (35 points, 7 comments)
  72. Chonjacki (35 points, 1 comment)
  73. DreamWithinAMatrix (35 points, 1 comment)
  74. shayKyarbouti (34 points, 12 comments)
  75. barrybulsara (34 points, 3 comments)
  76. specu12 (33 points, 28 comments)
  77. Mercwithapen (33 points, 17 comments)
  78. toodleoo77 (33 points, 16 comments)
  79. Crazybarb (33 points, 9 comments)
  80. histronic (33 points, 3 comments)
  81. Valalvax (32 points, 9 comments)
  82. _neminem (32 points, 9 comments)
  83. quickclickz (32 points, 8 comments)
  84. beermoney313 (32 points, 4 comments)
  85. TheMmaMagician (32 points, 2 comments)
  86. anonymous-bot (31 points, 6 comments)
  87. skeleton_irl (31 points, 1 comment)
  88. TheWriter_21 (30 points, 22 comments)
  89. bbh1nz (30 points, 6 comments)
  90. scrollbreak (29 points, 14 comments)
  91. play_it_safe (29 points, 11 comments)
  92. F1r3tar (29 points, 4 comments)
  93. KudagFirefist (29 points, 2 comments)
  94. webdevop (29 points, 1 comment)
  95. Fishering (27 points, 21 comments)
  96. TechnicalIsle (27 points, 11 comments)
  97. DerReise (27 points, 7 comments)
  98. morecrazythanyou (27 points, 6 comments)
  99. HIGHIGHIGHIGHIGH (27 points, 1 comment)
  100. perko12 (26 points, 10 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. If you're thinking of selling your old devices for money, think twice before using Decluttr by cancerofpassion (464 points, 51 comments)
  2. Accidentally made $5 and developed from there to over $1000 last month - anyone can do it - AMA by ProudOwl (371 points, 220 comments)
  3. YouTube has changed their monetization policy. If you've got a channel generating revenue passively, you may lose monetization [Link Included]. by thelaughingcactus (350 points, 204 comments)
  4. Can we stop with the cryptocurrency posts? by bengael (327 points, 66 comments)
  5. Uber for Tech Support $300 monthly average by CodeSpent (291 points, 67 comments)
  6. Question Generation (Writing!) $8 to $16/hour ($0.14 per question) - Native US English Only by JacobDefinedCrowd (230 points, 140 comments)
  7. I made +$20 000 in revenue since July 2017 selling apparel with Printful & Redbubble by timmymacapone (227 points, 133 comments)
  8. Who Paid You FoIn December. Here is my list by themightyox (227 points, 66 comments)
  9. If you have an unused parking space in your driveway, list it on Dryveways to start making some extra beer money. App is available on iTunes & Google Play Store. by Dryveways (205 points, 32 comments)
  10. [ADVICE]Beware of answering the surveys that ask you who your best friend is or what your mother's maiden name is... by yoasiango (203 points, 17 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 290 points: adriansoft's comment in If you're thinking of selling your old devices for money, think twice before using Decluttr
  2. 223 points: Justanothernolifer's comment in YouTube has changed their monetization policy. If you've got a channel generating revenue passively, you may lose monetization [Link Included].
  3. 176 points: EL_Tirano's comment in If you have an unused parking space in your driveway, list it on Dryveways to start making some extra beer money. App is available on iTunes & Google Play Store.
  4. 129 points: deleted's comment in What is the hardest way to make money online?
  5. 101 points: ed1380's comment in What is the hardest way to make money online?
  6. 89 points: Nettleberry's comment in If you're thinking of selling your old devices for money, think twice before using Decluttr
  7. 82 points: cybermistt's comment in Beer money services that aren't brain numbing?
  8. 75 points: toxic08's comment in YouTube has changed their monetization policy. If you've got a channel generating revenue passively, you may lose monetization [Link Included].
  9. 74 points: nd130903's comment in [ADVICE]Beware of answering the surveys that ask you who your best friend is or what your mother's maiden name is...
  10. 74 points: themightyox's comment in Who Paid You FoIn December. Here is my list
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